Subterranean Homesick Blog

We R A Fever

2009-04-24T23:54:00.000-07:00

Three words that describe The Kills: Confident, Visceral, Explosive
Three songs you have to hear: Kissy, No Wow, Tape Song

I'd have to say my biggest complaint with live music has been that at best, you get a retread of the studio album, with a few covers. Whatever stage shenanigans, video displays, or lighting add to the equation, if the performers lack passion, energy, and confidence the result is disappointing.

The Kills (guy & gal duet aliasing as Hotel and VV respectively) love their music and love playing it. The amount I enjoy their music (more than the average audiophile surely) is dwarfed by the zest for performing the two display on stage.

Still got it...

2009-04-21T20:13:00.000-07:00

Haven't played the piano in forever...

Untitled from Andrew Prewitt on Vimeo.

The Violent

2009-04-02T22:36:00.001-07:00

Our pastor raised the question about the morality of violent imagery in media, here's what how I'm responding so far...

Violent imagery, like any other imagery, can be shocking to the uninitiated.

Violence in media is a medium. Like any medium, it is neither good nor evil, it carries the message of the mediator.

In the example of Saw, when Jigsaw orchestrates a horrific situation where a man has to consider sawing off his own leg, what is his (and the writer/director's) intent?

Most importantly, what can/will we take from that?

If we enjoy the idea of someone toying with the life of another, we need to search our heart, because somewhere in there is an unhealthy fixation on power, and probably a weakness of will in our self that requires some voyeuristic exercise of authority.

Another example, this is a little more gray, when we watch an action movie, where good is battling evil in whatever form of hyper-stylized combat, why do we find these sequences exhilarating?

Searching my own heart, it would seem that the artful beauty of whatever martial art (be it kung fu, stylized gun battle, sword play, giant robots, aliens...) is being portrayed displays both excellence and the unpredictability of conflict. Will good triumph? Usually yes, but at what cost?

Even in the depravity of something like Saw there are lessons to be learned, God does not hold his hand over our eyes that we might not be corrupted by the violence of the Old Testament (tent peg hammered through skull stands out in my memory).

Ultimately I think the unredeemed heart will rejoice in the evil of violence. The redeemed heart may be sobered by the depravity, enriched by the victory, or convicted by the humanity.

However, I'm not saying all of you who find R-rated violent imagery and gore unwatchable are inferior for your inability to appreciate something.

I think that this is exactly the type of freedom to be given up for the weaker brother.

For example, I suggested some guys at church getting together to watch Pulp Fiction (it's a theological/philosophical goldmine), one guy wasn't too excited by the idea because he doesn't like it's violent content, I'm not going to insist on watching Pulp Fiction, we'll watch The Princess Bride if needs be, because I value his fellowship more than that or any movie.

Hendrick...

2009-03-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of seeing my friend Josh's band tonight on 6th street. They put on a great show, three guitars (a la Radiohead) or two and a keyboard (a la Elbow), anchored by Josh's vocals. If you get a chance, check them out on myspace (click the pic). You Gon' Drown and Fit to Be Lonely are two of my favorite songs. They've got a new cd coming out (as Josh said at the show, "in the month of...soon"). So, if you like piano driven emotive rock, check 'em out. And if you're in Dallas, check their myspace and go to a show.

What's My Age Again?

2009-03-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday, and he asked if I was beginning to feel my mortality. I responded "What mortality?"

Well, I didn't actually say that, but I should have, and I did think of it just now...so that counts for something doesn't it?

Of course I've considered my mortality, and what's more, I've actually had several near death experiences (2 by auto, 1 by chainsaw, 1 by horse).

Having had my entire life flash before my eyes a few times, I've always felt the need to make it more interesting than what I've observed.

To that end, I've always tried to learn new things and become more well rounded (at least intellectually).

Which is at least part of why I'm here in Austin.

But what is it like being twenty-three? I'm a little too old to be an undergrad (classified as an OTAS, "Older than average student" according to my friend, another perpetual student).

But what's wrong with being a perpetual student? Really, we should always be students in a sense, to stop learning is one form of death isn't it?

But I do feel distanced from most of the student body I've interacted with. It's like observing a child reasoning something out you learned how to do a long time ago.

But perhaps the one thing that makes me feel my age more than any other is how different my approach to my education has been compared to my peers.

While I try to absorb myself in the material and learn as much as I can from it, my classmates seem pretty disinterested, like the only thing they can get out of a class is a few credit hours.

This worries me, it used to be that college was the time that you explored new ways of thinking, read authors with wild ideas, and spent too much time primping your hair.

It would seem only the last is still true. A spirit of consumerism has infiltrated even the halls of higher education.

Well, hopefully when everyone's broke, they'll start to learn again, and maybe even think.

On that cheerful note, I'll leave you to your thoughts, if you have any.

Deconstruction as a Path to Reconstruction

2009-03-03T15:21:00.000-08:00

A helpful introduction might be to run through some alternate titles I had for this entry. Grace: The Red-Headed Stepchild of Christian Theology, How I Learned to Stop Hating Myself and Hate the Christian Music Industry...

In an attempt to tie the last few posts together (considering the title of the most recent this might be pointless) I thought I'd consider losing the war on grace in the context of my feelings about worship, worship music, music, christian music, and the CCM industry.

Today's reference materials are The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right and my ever expanding sense of self importance (which is controlled by God's grace with frequent doses of humbling experience).

Introduction out of the way, I'll get started.

In order to shorten the length of this post, a drawn out biographical section has been edited out (meaning, although I thought about it, it wasn't actually written, because I'm too lazy).

When I led worship, starting out for our youth and finally the main service, I was consumed with how a song was played, with doing it creatively, singing it well, making it cool, having the right mood, etc. Basically, my main concern was with getting everything right.

And what happened when things went wrong? I was disheartened and frustrated at first, which gave way to newfound motivation to do better next time.

(if the bold gets on your nerves, I'm sorry, there's no way of telling how good a critical reader you are)

The "heart of worship" I had was one of performance.
I had to perform well in order to be justified in being a worship leader.

The problem (as I've stated in previous posts The War on Grace and Losing the War on Grace) was that I had forgotten I was saved by grace.

When the grace that was sufficient for the justification of my soul, ceased to be sufficient for the justification of my continued existence, I stopped worshiping God and started worshiping myself.

When you get past all the human layers of desire, autonomy, self-worth, or purpose you will have uncovered the source of all that is wrong with creation.

We don't want to be saved by grace, we want to earn our salvation. Why? That's a big question, but a short answer would be because it grants us value.

I don't want to worship God, I don't want to make less of me to point the way to him, I want to set myself up as a beacon of hope. I want to worship myself and to be worshiped by others.

Is there irony in the fact that I used being a worship leader to worship myself?

Of course, but there is unspeakable beauty in something else...

that God was gracious enough to use that upside down "worship leader" part of my life to humble me further, draw me closer to him, and show me the path to true worship.

It's almost like Romans 5:8 actually happens.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

This is starting to run long, I'll continue this discussion later.

Now For Something Completely Different...

2009-03-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

I've been experiencing a spiritual revival of late, and it's provoked me to revisit worship music. I've started writing my own versions of some classics (Father I Adore You, Be Thou My Vision), as well as learning some new ones (God of this City, several Phil Wickham tunes). Here's my version (still in progress) of Father, I adore You. The lyrics aren't finished yet, but most of the music is set. Sorry it's so dark, but the audio was the main thing.

Original Video- More videos at TinyPic

Losing the War on Grace

2009-02-28T11:06:00.000-08:00

The war on grace is one that, despite what you might think, everyone is fighting.

Believers and non-believers alike have served on both sides. It seems odd to think of someone like Jerry Falwell fighting alongside a secular humanist like Bill Maher, but they are both in opposition to Grace. It may seem odder still to think that men like John Piper and Tim Keller are aided in their fight on behalf of grace by secular rock bands like Radiohead.

To explain this in a little more detail, I'll have to borrow some material (but since this is bit of Christian writing, plagiarism is, if not outright encouraged, at least overlooked).

Everyone lives their life within the model of salvation from hell. What that salvation is, the means by which it is acquired, and the hell from which it delivers may all vary-but that model is consistent for everyone.

If you're overweight, you want to be saved from fat hell, and you'll go to the gym, diet, and sacrifice sugar in order to be saved (reach your goal weight).

If you're a businessman, you'll want to be saved from unsuccessful hell, so you will put in long hours, serve your boss, and sacrifice time with others (family, friends, etc) so that you may be saved (get rich, powerful, your name on the door).

I could go on and on, but the point is that if you think about yours, or anyone else's life in this context, you can usually identify what hell you are trying to escape, and how you are trying to do it.

Any of these efforts to save ourselves, from whatever hell it may be, is worship of an idol. The idol being whatever form of salvation we seek. This idol worship is how we fight the war on grace.

If we are going to be truly saved, from hell in all it's forms, we are going to have to stop fighting, and start losing.

The War on Grace

2009-02-27T18:09:00.000-08:00

"...We know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified."

- Galatians 2:16 -

The most singular distinctive of Christianity is Grace.

While every other religion, system of belief, philosophy, 12 step program, self-help book tells you what you must do in order to be saved, be cured, succeed, kick the habit, win, etc. the message of the Gospel is totally opposite, and unique.

It's not unsurprising (considering the current state of the world, particularly in relation to Christianity) that this idea of Grace is lost in the ether, the majority of human culture, literature, art, and philosophy exists in opposition to this concept.

The story surrounding the verse in Galatians is one of the earliest attacks (and Paul's defense) on Grace. There was a group of early Christians who said that in addition to faith, obedience to Jewish law was required for justification (being declared "not guilty" by God).

Peter and James, two of the Apostles, were essentially giving in to the influence of this group (known in Scripture as "the circumcision group"), this was hypocritical, since they had both been living a lifestyle that did not strictly follow Jewish law.

Paul intervened, reminding Peter and James that they were saved by Grace. And that justification could not need anything other than grace by faith, because the gift had been bought, and that gift was Grace.

What is Grace?

After consulting my handy theological dictionary (titled Crazy Talk), I found this...

Grace: The free gift in which God gives all-eternal life, forgiveness, purpose, meaning-to human beings, who respond by trying to earn it.

The most important part of this definition is the last line. Not only is the world filled with religions, philosophies, and ideologies that deny Grace-but Christians themselves deny it daily, by trying to earn it.

The problem is that while Christians cognitively understand what Grace is (ask 10 believers to define Grace and 8 will say "God's unmerited favor"), they don't understand it practically. And while there are a lot of reasons for this, the one that interests me the most was revealed by this example:

"If God wanted me to pay for my salvation, it would be like paying my taxes, I would know how much I owed, and I'd pay it. But because I am saved freely, by Grace, there is no limit to what he can ask of me."

The truth is we don't want to comprehend or acknowledge God's grace. We still want to be free of God's authority, and the fact is, our free salvation by grace is a ball and chain. We are slaves to righteousness, by grace.

Redeeming Reason: An Introduction

2009-02-02T21:28:00.000-08:00

In my short tenure as a student of UT, I am quickly perceiving a source of tension between culture and the Church. Science and reason are viewed by most of culture as being antithetical to faith. This divorce between God's love and our mind has created a vacuum. And yet, it isn't as though science elbowed it's way between us and our Father. Rather, we as a community of faith in history, tossed science to the curb like a toy Rubik's cube, too complex to understand and thus best left alone.

I won't pretend there was some time when science and faith existed in harmony. Since the earliest history the reasoning, knowledge based approach to understanding the world has been in direct conflict with those who cherish faith.

I have yet to see in history who struck the first blow in this long waged war, but if I were to make my first of many potentially disagreeable claims I would lay blame at the foot of the church.

I don't see a time in history when men of reason, motivated by their belief in science, set out to unravel faith (at least before they had been first attacked by the faithful, but more on that later). Sadly, Christians have more often than not been in a position to defend their tradition, often with violence.

Where we began as the persecuted purveyors of truth, through a series of sad events the roles were reversed and we became the boot pressed on the neck of all we perceived false. If you look at men of history who made great discoveries in the sciences you will often see a common theme of persecution from the church.

That in our current culture men of reason are seeking to eradicate religion and more specifically Christianity is only a natural reaction of self-defense.We deserve to be in their sights, and unless we repent in humility, deserve to be shot.

I'd like to write a little about how that repentance and ensuing redemption may come about, not by building a bridge from one side to the other, but hopefully, with a lovingly applied swift kick in the pants, to knock both sides into the water and force them to swim together once again.

Week Two

2009-01-31T15:51:00.000-08:00

This concludes my second week as an Austinite. Apparently we're too laid back to have any sort of special initiation rites or rules for membership.

After two weeks of riding the bus I have to say I enjoy it, if only for the opportunity to read. I also like the minimal fuel consumption.

Speaking of reading, I finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy. An amazing book, one of the most somber examinations of a post-apocalyptic civilization I've ever read. That may not tickle your fancy, but the book did win the Pulitzer Prize, and is being made into a movie starring Guy Pearce and Viggo Mortensen. It's the best book I've read this year, although it is a little early yet.

My classes are all either interesting or not too difficult to worry me. I really enjoy my government class, where I'm learning a lot about how our system has always been dysfunctional and ineffective.

I visited one of the churches small groups (called city groups here). It looks like I've found a place for us there, everybody has been pretty welcoming.

Speaking of church, I played in the first church football tournament, representing the "Yodas". As our name implied, we were either unathletic (myself) or too old to be playing football with a bunch of college guys (everybody else). We suffered two fairly decisive defeats, but are confident that when Oscar time rolls around, we'll win the church-wide movie trivia tournament, or IQ test.

I've got more homework to do, some Economics and Math (production possibility frontiers and factoring...yay).

I finished the application process for our apartment, here are some sample pictures:

Back In The Day...

2009-01-30T14:06:00.000-08:00

I foresee me telling this story to my grandchildren, "Back in the day we didn't play all our videogames, watch all our movies, and read all of our books on our cellphone, why, back in my day, the only game we had on phones was snake" They would of course be confused, having never played something as simple and simply amazing as snake.

In case anybody doesn't know what I mean, here's snake, like I remember it. Just use your arrow keys to maneuver the slippery little guy. And remember, don't run into your butt!

Super Snakegreat free widgetsWidgetbox

Andrew: Week One

2009-01-25T17:31:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy busy week. I've started a new job, gone to a new school, and a new church in a new city in a week that has been filled with new experiences.

I rode public transit (great time to read).
I didn't get lost once (first time I've gone a week in Austin without that happening).
I saw a great movie (at the Drafthouse, probably the best cinema experience I've ever had).
I went to a teeny church (that meets in a theater inside a coffee bar downtown).
I wore a tie four out of five days of the work week (and didn't feel that weird about it).
I bought a lot of books, but no movies (a first for me).
I got up before 8 am everyday except today (if God rested today, I figure I can at least sleep in).

It was a great week, it had it's downs (getting up at 6 am for the bus, extreme sore feet, being separated from my family) but mostly it's been a lot of fun.

I haven't been this tired in a long time (especially at 7 pm) but it's a satisfying feeling.

I'll probably write something more interesting later this week.

Oscar Predictions

2009-01-23T21:45:00.000-08:00

Slumdog Millionaire. For all of em.

Oscar...

2009-01-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

Wilde? Unfortunately no.

Oscar nomination announcements are usually accompanied with cries of dismay by film fans across the globe. So before I make a list of nominations and attach predictions, here's the 5 most outrageous snubs/selections of the year:

5. Bruce Springsteen's song in The Wrestler - SNUBBED

I don't get this at all. Mostly because the system for selecting a song is voted on by the Academy by assigning a song a score of 6-10. You have to score 8.25 to be considered. Of the 49 songs submitted, only 3 scored highly enough. This may be the most damning testament to the Academy's "taste" since their selection of the Titanic for best picture.

4. Robert Downey Jr's blaxploitated performance in Tropic Thunder - SELECTED

I take that back, this is much more damning. And that is coming from someone who thought Downey's performance was the best thing about the film. An absurd choice, mostly because of using a nomination slot for what is essentially a throw away selection. Let's keep hoping for Heath's posthumous win in this category.

3. Christopher Nolan's direction of the Dark Knight - SNUBBED

What the heck? I don't know if anyone else saw the Dark Knight. Apparently the fact that it grossed almost (if not more, that remains to be seen) as much as the Titanic didn't help matters. Which is baffling, as that is the only possible reason for the Titanic's ridiculous success. Stephen Daldry's nomination is absurd enough to warrant being on this list, almost, the absurdness of Ron Howard's nomination cancels out Daldry though.

2. The Wrestler - SNUBBED

I don't know how you choose The Reader for best picture over this, that's all I have to say.

1. The Dark Knight - SNUBBED

Once again, I am confused, does anybody else realize this isn't just a Batman movie? That it is the best crime film since Goodfellas?

Anyway, I'll be posting more on the nominees and my predictions later.

Keepin' Andrew Wierd...

2009-01-18T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm posting for the first time as an Austinite. Although I don't know if I qualify now, or when I actually possess a for real physical address, or when I start slapping ecologically concerned bumper stickers on my car. I'll have to ask some genuine natives how that works.

I've gotten settled in to my room at my aunt and uncle's (and by settled in, I mean I alphabetized my row of dvd's in the closet, some things will never change). I've also completed a short list of things I forgot, for your entertainment...

1. All forms of notebook/paper/things-to-write-on-in-school-because-that-is-what-you-do-in-school...idiot.

2. Half of my ties (I don't know how this happened, they are all kept in one spot, which really means two places: the spot, and a space on the floor two feet from the spot, I guess I forgot to check the floor).

3. The video cable to my gamecube (granted, this is probably a blessing in disguise, no matter how much I may need to unwind over the next week or two, time will probably be better spent not shotgunning zombies).

4. Speaking of Zombies, my copy of World War Z, the best book ever made, about zombies and hard journalism anyway.

In spite of my seven or eight trips between the house and my car I still managed to forget some stuff. I did however get to say goodbye to my wife a couple dozen times, which was good.

By good, I mean I like goodbye, and not in the literal sense, as in "I enjoy being away from my family" more like, I enjoy being reunited with my family after being separated for a time. So, I'm praying the apartment/moving situation will be quickly and smoothly resolved.

My uncle warned me, as we were watching the tail end of the AFC championship game, as I was complaining about the illogical class scheduling of UT, that I should be prepared to not be the smartest kid in the class.

Now I haven't really thought about that honestly, but I realized, that I really am most likely going to get pimp-slapped over the next few weeks. By school (you don't become one of the top schools in the nation by offering classes that are easy to pass), by a new job, by being away from my family, etc. I've got a lot to learn it would seem.

Oh well, the more I learn, the less I won't know.

Gran Torino

2009-01-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

I like Clint Eastwood movies, I'm not one of those people who has an issue with the heavy handedness or melodrama. I like how he paints with broad, bold strokes.

Gran Torino is an almost great movie. I'll leave out how everything that is so good gets undone in the final minutes for now though, and discuss what I thought did work.

Clint plays Walt, a grumpy, racist, old man (grumpy enough to make Walter Mathau look cheerful, racist enough to make that weird uncle of yours seem culturally diverse and old enough to make you think he's going to drop dead any moment).

He's the last whitey in the neighborhood, every home around is occupied by a variety of asian, black, and Latino immigrants. Gangs roam the streets and everything is in some state of disrepair. Walt doesn't start the movie off turning that signature scowl towards the melting pot of impoverished cultures around him though. The film opens with him standing by his wife's casket frowning with disapproval as his two yuppie sons and their disrespectful families make too much noise from snickering or texting. This opening scene really does give you a clue as to how over-the-top and unsubtle this film will be. One kid wears a top that exposes her midriff, another a football jersey (already you're having trouble suspending belief, who has ever seen a sports jersey or a belly button at a funeral?).

So, obviously this balances things a little. Walt doesn't just have a problem with non-whites. He's got a problem with his family, his barber (who may be a Italian, but looks just as white as Walt), his neighbors, his doctor in another not so subtle move, it becomes clear that Walt has enough problems to suggest that he's got a bigger one, maybe?

Of course the formula for this movie is ancient, an old dog learns some new tricks, while teaching the young pup what he learned on the path to becoming such a freakin' old dog.

The comedic aspects of the film are one of it's strong points, if you can laugh at a 70+ year old man telling a young asian girl "let's go get some of that nice gook food you've been jabbering about" or using every racial epithet in the book (except the n-word, oddly enough, they leave that one out, though he does make up for it by using six equally offensive alternatives in one conversation).

The movie has numerous weak points throughout (almost all of the supporting cast is borderline awful to passable), but right up until the final moments the good outweighed the bad. Until, after an unexpected twist, in the closing scene Clint Eastwood's voice starts singing this ridiculous song, which runs into the credits.

The song completely takes you out of the movie. As soon as it started, I was laughing, because of how absurd it was. The lyrics were terrible, and come on, Eastwood can barely utter his lines much less sing.

Really, if you fix the soundtrack, supporting cast, and the final twist you've got a potentially great movie. Or at least one that would have gotten a response similar to that of Million Dollar Baby.

I'm still waiting to see if there is anything out there capable of topping The Dark Knight. I've still got to see The Wrestler, Doubt, and Let the Right One In.

I'm kinda hoping Let The Right One In lives up to it's hype. It'll probably kick Quarantine off the top ten list as the best horror movie I saw from last year. Even if I didn't get around to seeing it until this year.

13 Reasons to love 2009

2009-01-07T15:03:00.000-08:00

As great a year as 2008 was for movies, there is a lot to be looking forward to. And since the first worthwhile movie will be released in March, looking forward is all we will be doing for a while. However, next summer is going to be one of the biggest blockbuster years in a long time (granted this is due to several of this fall's blockbusters being pushed back, like Star Trek and Harry Potter).

This is my complete (mostly, I don't know how much hope there is of a release of The Good, The Bad, and the Wierd the Korean Kung-fu Western homage whose trailer made my mouth drop) list of movies I'm looking forward to this year.

Watchmen
Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Patrick Wilson and Carla Gugino star in this adaptation of the famed graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Which is now locked in a legal battle between the soulless stain of a corporation (Fox) and the one hope for superhero movies (Warner Bros.). This may never be seen, and for those of us who dearly love the comic, maybe we should just breathe a sigh of relief, now that we don't have to fear our hopes being crushed.

Star Trek
"Lost" creator J. J. Abrams reboots the beloved sci-fi franchise in this prequel exploring the early days of Kirk and Spock. Hey everybody! This movie features Randy Pauche, in what will be the final (and only) acting performance of his lifetime. Seriously though, this looks like Star Wars-esque popcorn fun, who knows, maybe Lucas will grow a brain and hire Abrams to direct the final trilogy. Although I'm not really sure I'd want to see that happen.

Terminator Salvation
Christian Bale stars in this film which is both a sequel and a prequel to the wildly popular time-travel/killer robot action franchise. Finally, the only terminator sequel that ever needed to be made. Too bad it's being made by a guy with one name.

Up
Pixar follows up on their movies about gourmet rats and lonely robots with this flick about a grumpy old man and his balloon-powered floating house. Which, like most Pixar premises, makes you say huh? But hey, with their track record, if they made a promotional video for vacuum cleaners I'd see it in theaters.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Granted, the first one was ho-hum (how do you make a movie with robots this pretty and then have all their action sequences pale in comparison to...wait for it...the military? Seriously, the epitome of the entirety of this "robot action" movie was Optimus Prime's brief bit of swordplay). Still, Michael Bay has yet to do a sequel, he has also yet to make a movie with enough maturity to warrant a second viewing, but we can only hope.

Public Enemies
Johnny Depp stars as legendary bank robber John Dillinger and Christian Bale is the G-man on his tail in this true crime drama directed by Michael Mann. Michael Mann doing a period crime movie? From the director that brought you Heat, Collateral, and Miami Vice...enough said.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry, Hermione, Ron and friends return to Hogwarts and face Lord Voldemort again in this sixth installment of the series. The last one was the best film realization yet. Perfectly captured the agonizing finality of Sirius' death, will this manage to elevate the puzzling finality of Dumbledore's?

Inglorious Basterds
After a string of films with female leads (Jackie Brown, Kill Bill, Deathproof) QT has managed to ignore his foot fetish long enough to shoot a WWII all male mercenary team movie (Alternate title: The Really Dirty Dozen). What can I say? I'm under the age of 30, and therefore I must love Quentin.

Shutter Island
Martin Scorsese directs Leonardo DiCaprio for the fourth time in a thriller about U.S. Marshall's pursuing of a female escaped convict. That brief synopsis leaves out the fact that he's adapting another of Dennis Lehane's books, which usually make great movies (Mystic River, Gone Baby Gone).

Where the Wild Things Are
Director Spike Jones brings to life Maurice Sendak's classic children's book about a boy transported to a world of monsters. I'm no Spike Lee fan, but Where the Wild Things Are needs to be seen.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox
An animated telling of Roald Dahl's beloved novel from director Wes Anderson ("Rushmore" and "The Royal Tennenbaums"). One of my favorite directors, whether this will be CG or not remains to be seen (or rather, researched on the internet). My second most anticipated kids movie.

Sherlock Holmes
Robert Downey Jr. brings the legendary London sleuth to life, with Jude Law as the faithful Dr. Watson and directed by Guy Ritchie. Okay, if you had asked me a few years ago which part of that equation would worry me most, Guy Ritchie wouldn't have been it. But after a slew of absolute crap, I am praying he doesn't screw what looks like my most anticipated movie of 2009 (Watchmen is a close second, however, the stories of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle were one of my first loves).

The Road
The second Cormac McCarthy movie in as many years is a post-apocalyptic tale of father and son crossing a burned out United States. I really liked No Country for Old Men and this movie deals with subject matter much closer to my own interests, plus it's directed by the guy who made The Proposition (almost like an Australian Unforgiven).

Non Oscar Bait Top Ten

2009-01-01T10:33:00.000-08:00

Since it's December, and the deluge of "critically acclaimed" arty movies is upon us. I'd like to compose a list that focuses on movies that had the guts to be released before December, and still probably have a shot at a few Oscar nods. I mean, come on, would anybody remember Doubt or Revolutionary Road come awards season if they hadn't been released a couple months beforehand?

A number of film critics like to compare the quality of one year to another, usually with the intent of reminiscing some glorious period (for some the gritty mid-late 70's, others the "rise of the indie" 90's). It has been my experience, and I think this is why film appeals to me so much, that every year is pretty consistent, you will see something new, unexpected and exciting every year.

My favorite film critic, James Berardinelli of Reelviews.net, has released his top ten list, and it is a little more populist than most, but not quite as down to earth as the list you'll find here.

First some honorable mentions: In Bruges, The Bank Job, Wanted, Death Race, Quantum of Solace, Cloverfield, Pineapple Express, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall

10. Kung Fu Panda

I rarely expect anything but mediocrity from Dreamworks when it comes to animation. They have the inferior robot, ant, fish, and rat movie. However, Pixar would be foolish to attempt to top the perfection they have achieved here, with the martial arts animal flick. Kung Fu Panda was probably the most fun I've had watching a "kids" movie in a long time.

9. Quarantine

A largely reviled film, considered an unoriginal mish-mash of Cloverfield style and a zombie film. I was impressed because while Cloverfield was constantly bordering on incoherent, Quarantine's use of a live amatuer documentary style only hightened the experience. The critical hate for this film somewhat baffles me, as it really only has one flaw, which is the excessive shrieking from the female lead in the films final 20 minutes.

8. Tropic Thunder

I had heard about Tropic Thunder fairly early on in it's advertising campaign, and was intrigued by Robert Downey Jr's character. That the movie managed to be as entertaining as that one joke is probably why it ended up on my list.

7. Redbelt

Spartan is one of my favorite movies of all time, I don't know why, it just is. David Mamet's follow up Redbelt is anchored by a great performance from Chiwetel Ejiofor. Like Spartan it deals with a man of action and principle having to learn to live in a world that is far less idealized than he would like. That Redbelt also features some great realistic martial arts doesn't hurt either.

6. The Incredible Hulk

If you were to ask me if redoing Ang Lee's Hulk with a film helmed by Luis Leterier (whose previous directing experience features Transporter 2 as the highlight) would be a good idea I would probably laugh and say absolutely not. But if you told me you had Edward Norton to play Bruce Banner I might consider it. This is the Hulk, not that odd send up to cheesy b-movies that once was the Hulk. Finally, with the creation of Marvel's own film studio we have the opportunity to see what happens when people who care about the source material make the creative decisions and with this year's release of The Incredible Hulk, Ironman, and The Dark Knight (which all made my top ten) I'm excited about the future of the comic book film.

5. Rambo

Simultaneously one of the most ridiculous and ridiculously entertaining movies of the year. More blood and gore than all previous Rambo's combined. That Rambo is saving missionaries makes this all the more hilarious/awesome.

4. Wall-E

While most people praise this movie unequivocally, I have several reservations, mostly about the way the final two-thirds don't hold up as strongly as the beginning and first encounters between Wall-E and Eve. However, the magic in those first 35 minutes is fantastic.

3. Ironman

Maybe I'm a little biased, seeing as how Ironman has always been one of my favorite superheroes. However, Robert Downey Jr's note perfect portrayal of Tony Stark elevates Ironman above the typical comic book action movie (Daredevil comes to mind when thinking of comic book movies that almost made it, but were held back by weak lead performances).

2. Slumdog Millionaire

Probably one of the few films actually deserving of the orgasmic critical response it has received. Danny Boyle continues to prove himself as a visionary director, you'd never know (unless of course you read it somewhere on the internet, as I did) that Boyle struggled to find a distributor for his film, which has been since called "a vibrant hymn to life" and sits triumphantly atop numerous top ten lists.

1. The Dark Knight

Like Beradinelli, I had a tough time choosing between Slumdog and Dark Knight. But the fact is that while Slumdog is an excellent movie, The Dark Knight transcends the category of movie or film into that of experience. It is the type of film making that just doesn't happen that often. The Nolan brothers (director and screenwriter, not unlike Joel and Ethan Coen) have crafted one of the most dense, breathtakingly relentless movies in ages.

Once I get around to seeing movies like The Wrestler, Gran Torino, Doubt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Revolutionary Road, The Reader, and Valkyrie I'll compile an Oscar bait top-ten.

Monthly Mixtape

2008-12-18T19:46:00.001-08:00

10 Songs from 2008

1. Family Tree - TV on the Radio

One of the fresher things you can listen to, Tv on the Radio was featured last month, so for more detail refer to last month's mixtape.

2. White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes

The word lush comes to mind. Best debut of 2008 by far. Who would have thought a band that named the soundtracks for Final Fantasy games as an influence could rejuvenate folk music?

3. One Day Like This - Elbow

My favorite song of 2008, and one I'm in danger of getting burned out on. If you don't listen to/haven't heard of these guys, rectify that please, they're a thousand times better than Coldplay, the only band running neck-and-pasty-British-neck with Radiohead.

4. Cath - Death Cab

I'm always really hard on Death Cab when I first listen to one of their new albums, so much so that I don't get into it until a couple months after it's release. Narrow Stairs holds up, and is a worthy addition to their canon. This song in particular is the only one that manages to scratch the surface depth of Transatlanticism.

5. Lost? - Coldplay

I don't know what the question mark is for, Coldplay knew they weren't in Kansas long before they started working on Viva la Vida, which may be their best album. If not, it's definitely one of Brian Eno's most accessible works. Chris Martin managed to be more than insufferable (he is the Achilles and the heel of the band, kind of like Bono is with U2) and wrote some lyrics (with Eno's help). All in all a great album, and if you studiously avoided Coldplay before now, go out and buy this and Kanye's newest, they just may melt your elitist heart.

6. A Trip Out - British Sea Power

I am not really a fan of stuff that is so post anything it gets labeled post-whatever. For their first two albums, the joy of listening to British Sea Power was somewhat dampened by the fact that they really sounded like post-punk. Although I never really thought to cross-reference the Jackson 5 with British Sea Power, they manage to sound youthful and optimistic on Do You Like Rock Music? the title's genius only being made obvious after you listen to the album through a couple times.

7. Orphans - Beck

I really, really, like Beck. I'm not one of those people that says "everything since Odelay is ho-hum" I will defend every single one of his albums...except last years The Information which was such a depressing failure for me, I threw the cd away, not even wanting to collect the couple bucks it would have brought at half-price. All I can say is, thank God for Danger Mouse. Although he didn't have such a hot follow up with his own gig (Gnarls Barkley), he managed to completely erase the bad taste of The Information. Modern Guilt is another really good Beck album.

8. Love Lockdown - Kanye West

As I said earlier, this album 808's and Heartbreak, atones for a lot of the ridiculous posturing Kanye has been up to. I don't think the Beatles could have made half the noise he's made prior to the release of Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band and been taken seriously. And 808's and Heartbreak aint no Beatles album. Still, if you miss the Electric Light Orchestra, or wish they would have been fronted by a rapper with an auto-tuner, your in for a treat.

9. Manhattan - Kings of Leon

I may be the only person willing to say this, but I think of all those new indie bands that emerged in the early part of the decade (Interpol, The Strokes, The Stills, Of Montreal, Mates of State to name a few) the Kings of Leon have emerged as being ahead of the pack. Only by the Night is not a perfect album, nor is it as instantly infectious as some of their past work, but it is packed with good songs, which is more than I can say for any of those other guys fourth full length release.

10. Good Night, Bad Morning - The Kills

This seemed the perfect song with which to turn down the lights on 2008. Midnight Boom, despite having an awesome name, was a complete failure for The Kills, it was the epitome of "sound and fury signifying nothing" the signature swagger and attitude were there, but it didn't having anything backing it up. This simple song outranks and outclasses everything else on the album.

Aught-Eight En Retrospekt...Musik

2008-12-18T19:45:00.001-08:00

It's been another up and down year for Musik, he's a nice guy just trying to bring a little something to the ears of the people. Unfortunately, being upper management, he really just takes credit for the success of his workforce, and it seems like some of the usually reliable team members dropped the ball. If that was an excessive use of metaphor let me know.

Keane, Razorlight, The Stills, The Black Keys, Gnarls Barkley, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Spiritualized, The Killers, Ladytron and Weezer all crapped the money bed.

Several new artists suffered from something that's gotten rarer lately (the sophomore slump). While others dodged what I believe has replaced it (the third album implosion, remember The Strokes? I don't either). There were a few unexpected suprises (the pairing of Robert Plant and Alisson Krausse, Fleet Foxes). If I had to weigh the good and the bad, the dissapointments against the satisfaction, I'd have to say it was a good year.

The Mainstream/Top 40/Hip-Hop/Grammy crowd even managed to provide a decent song or two, I have officially become a fan of Lil' Wayne (the song Shooter on The Carter II) and Kanye has, not become the "voice of his generation", but at least released an album good enough to atone for ever uttering something so hopelessly egotistical and jouvenily absurd. I've surrendered to the infectious nature of Apologize and Whatever You Like, sometimes, though you already know you can't beat 'em and have sworn to never join 'em, you join 'em anyway.

It wasn't a good year for divas, I don't think anybody was fooled by Beyonce's reinvention. Brittany refuses to fade into nonexistence, and her success is proof that the American consumer has no soul, memory, brain, or even a pair of functioning ears. No new Christina Aguilera/Amy Winehouse album, no reason for me to have anything positive to say. Oh, and Katy Perry's hit single is a sign of the apocolypse. So says the Evangelical Christian "community".

There were some close calls. Death Cab, Kings of Leon, and Coldplay's new albums teetered on the brink of total failure, but I've warmed to all of them, which means it is now okay for you to like them as well (I laugh as I write this of course).

So, since it's the middle of December and you're still listening (theoretically listening anyway) to November's tunes, I've compiled a summary of what I listened to this year, limited to what was released this year. I know, you were itching to hear some classic tunes from Public Enemy, Bob Dylan, and some song from some Wes Anderson soundtrack, but for the purpose of remembering 2008 I've limited it to songs released this year. So without further ado (or explanation), the ten songs that represent 2008's music.

Whirlwind...

2008-12-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks have been dizzyingly busy:

Lining up my job transfer with UPS
Testing the troubled waters of packing (meaning Lacey's done a lot of work, and I've helped a little bit)
Prepping for the Holidays
Stressing about the Christmas Party (Talent Show performance)

This is all overwhelming.
So, how do you deal with feeling overwhelmed?

I ignore it.

Denial is a potent sedative,
and I have to say,
I wanna be sedated.

The stress is really straining things at home (stress causes strain? profound isn't it?), there's just a lot of stuff bearing down on us.
And as I've said before, I don't so much rise to the occasion as ignore it until the last possible moment, when I roll out of the way like Indy dodging the giant stone ball (except instead of running away, I've been staring at it, more or less, the whole time it's been getting closer and closer).

But it's not all bad news, we've gotten a lot of stuff done, and it seems like all that's left to do is...well a lot of crap actually, but nothing with a deadline that is nearer than the first of January.

I'm sure it will all work out, but right now things are moving at a maddeningly slow pace. Which worries me, because everyone keeps saying how fast everything is going to be happening. I'm ready for that part to happen, because I really just want to be past all this awkward transition crap and settled in Austin, going to school.

Those Hunger Now Kids Made a Movie!

2008-11-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

I went to see Slumdog Millionaire this afternoon. The movie deals with a variety of subjects, life in poverty riddled India, destiny, redemption, all framed by a televised episode of the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Think Quiz Show with a splash of City of God and a lot of heart.

The film centers on three homeless orphans living in the slums of Bombay (now Mumbai) who grow up throughout the course of the film. The seamless way the back story ties into the game show is just one of the many great things about the movie.

The film has an epic scope that can be agonizingly intimate, broad sweeping shots of sprawling shanty towns and garbage juxtaposed with a microscopic view of the harsh realities facing the abandoned and orphaned children of the world.

There has been some grumbling in the critical community over the film's R rating, and while I would consider the range of emotional tension the viewer experiences to be something for mature audiences, I don't think it deserves the limitations that an R rating puts on a film. The Dark Knight was rated PG-13 as was Quantum of Solace, both which had much more violence than this film.

The film is wrought with emotional tension, and no, I did not use the expression "wrought with emotional tension" just because I wanted to sound like a movie critic. Okay, maybe I did. But trust me, the movie is oozing with, uh...pathos.

Allow me to digress for a moment, one poster for the film has a blurb that says "A Soaring Hymn To Life". Big issue movies like Babel, Crash, The Cider House Rules, or Little Children need to be described with hyperbolic language to manipulate viewer's preconceptions. This movie doesn't need any of that, critic's quotes should be simpler, like "Excellent" or "Exceeded Expectations" or "*****". If I were to contribute a blurb it would read "Epically Intimate".

Back to Slumdog, the movie is subtitled, sort of, the subtitles aren't done in the traditional style and half the movie is in English. I only mention this because I wonder what the Academy will do with it when awards season comes around, the critical praise for this film has been so overwhelmingly positive I can't imagine it not being nominated. The only question remains whether it be Best Picture or Best Foreign Language Film.

The production, cinematography, and music all combine in the best possible way, which is to say that they draw the viewer into the story while still standing out as being fresh without being distracting, confusing, or overdone (Michael Bay, Tony Scott take notice).

The bottom line is this is meaty bit of escapism you can breathlessly enjoy in the moment and dissect at length later, something that doesn't happen very often at the movies.

Impending Doom?

2008-11-25T01:55:00.000-08:00

I'm sure everybody remembers the writer's strike this year, how we were subjected to a slew of empty-headed reality shows in place of the usual drama or sitcom, forced to abandon our televisions for the outdoors or God forbid, actual human contact. Those were dark days for Americankind.

It would seem that - although the writer's strike gutted the industry of material, jobs, and opportunities and the promises made at the resolution have all been unmet - the Actor's Guild is considering a strike.

Which, despite the ease of replacing a face as opposed to a brain, will probably have a similar effect on the industry, mainly a vacuum of entertainment.

The biggest effect of the last strike has been the pushback of a lot of fall film releases, which have been moved to fill the empty slots of the next summer season. This leaves us with a lot of indie movies having a shot at making a buck this fall.

But back to the Film Actor's Guild (error in nomenclature intentional). This is a bad idea, actor's are the most over-payed element in film making. I thought the writer's strike was morally justifiable at least, writer's have always gotten screwed when it came to passing out the pie. Actor's are the ones hogging the big slices they wouldn't be able to get their hands on if it weren't for good writing, direction, production, lighting, etc. Granted there are exceptions, you could shoot Daniel Day-Lewis with a home video camera at dusk without any lighting and get an Oscar worthy performance. But there's only a handful of Daniel Day-Lewis'. Most actors are mediocre at best and all of them are payed much more than the true creators.

Still, if absurdity wins the day, they will go on strike, making cinematic or televised entertainment even more irrelevant in the post dial-up internet age. And that future only involves lower pay for everyone all around.

My wife asked me to write about the strike, so I wrote about it. Really, I'm returning to a medium of entertainment I have neglected, where there is no industry of interdependent parts that have to democratically cooperate in order to produce something of merit, I'm talking about the book of course.

What would happen if there was an author's strike? It's an absurd concept, and that is just another reason books are better.

Wonderful Winter...

2008-11-21T02:35:00.000-08:00

The cinematic drought of fall has ended. No more horror remakes, unfunny comedies, or cliched romances. The time has come once again for the silver screen to be bombarded with "Oscar Contenders" or if you prefer straight talk, "Movies that don't rot your brain". Here's some trailers that have me itching for December...

The Wrestler - Directed by Darren Aranofsky
Release: 12-17

Gran Torino - Directed by Clint Eastwood
Release: 12-17

Slumdog Millionaire - Directed by Danny Boyle
Release: 11-12
Valkyrie - Directed by Brian Singer
Release: 12-26

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Directed by David Fincher
Release: 12-25

Early Oscar picks? Best Picture nods for the first three, with actor nominations for Mickey Rourke and Clint Eastwood. Now go see some good movies!

Click Player 8, Click Play, Enjoy Nerdy Poetry...

2008-11-20T03:33:00.000-08:00

SNL This Weekend...

2008-11-17T01:16:00.000-08:00

SNL has gone through it's own Reformation, the proverbial 95 theses have been stamped on the proverbial screen and they all say the same thing, "We don't suck anymore". Now I'm gonna go listen to some JT.

The Something of Boris...

2008-11-16T01:20:00.000-08:00

What is my fascination with ellipses? I don't know, but maybe that's part of why I loved Casino Royale.

James Bond movies have always been mediocre entertainment. But, with the previously mentioned entry (number 21) the bar has been raised. Bond displayed genuine emotions. He fell in love. He abhorred his job. He was gadgetless, punless, and as a direct result, anything but brainless.

Those who complain that the next film needs to return to the Bond we know, have forgotten everything they said about the Bond we know, mainly that he needed to stop visiting the big screen altogether. The paradigm has shifted permanently, unlike previous attempts at rebooting the series, the changes here go deeper than just adding a touch of realism by eliminating the more fantastic elements of the franchise.

Bond has become something akin to Jason Bourne no doubt. But to be fair, he was something akin to Jason Bourne thirty years before Jason Bourne ever existed. Bond's character in the novels never had a helicopter that unfolded out of a suitcase (or several suitcases to be technically correct), a jetpack, or any type of laser emitting wristwatch.

The Bond of the books is just what we're seeing now, detached and cold, showing moments of humanity in dire situations and rarely getting laid.

Is it refreshing? For most people probably not, but as a reader of Bond first, I'd have to say the new direction has me completely satisfied.

The sequel to Casino Royale, granted, has a crummy title. Search for The Something of Boris on youtube to find a pretty funny alternate opening song, critiquing the incomprehensibility of Quantum of Solace, I was unable to find a funny song about the difficulties of long words like "incomprehensibility" or "critiquing" maybe someone can research that for me?

Sorry, that paragraph said nothing. The new 007 flick is flawed, but the flaws are technical and fortunately, unable to sink the rest of the movie. The action set pieces here are ruined by poor editing (by poor I mean confusing, Michael Bay style cutting from shot to shot).

However, a few smaller action segments stand out if you really need the action, and the opera house scene is probably one of the best Bond moments in the entirety of this long-running franchise's bloated catalog. I read somebody calling it "Kubrickian" to which I instantly thought, shut up, but it turns out I'd have to agree. That scene validates the price of admission by itself. Unfortunately the action sequence immediately following can't maintain the same impression and the moment fades. But would great moments stand out if they were surrounded by equally great moments?

The filmmaker's throw in an excellent homage to Bond's cinematic history at the start of the final act, another great moment feeling smothered by another weak action sequence.

The strength of this film that outweighs all other detractions is Daniel Craig. Is he cold? Yes, but if you forget to watch the scenes where he's not, you'll miss out on the fact that he's still human, and not a caricature like his past incarnations. Is he indestructible? Somewhat, but he takes a beating and seems to just be trying to survive, granted with more success than logic would usually permit.

Craig is an actor of higher caliber than anyone who preceded him (with the possible exception of Connery, though his scripts never asked of him what Paul Haggis is asking of Craig) and he does everything perfectly. There were a few scenes in Casino Royale where he seemed awkward, he's nearly perfect this time around.

The bottom line is The Whatsit of Something is better entertainment than anything brought to the big screen since The Dark Knight. Despite the director's inability to present jaw-dropping action sequences, Daniel Craig's performance and several great moments make this film much more good than bad. Quantum of Solace is a rough, but a rough with many gems encrusted in it.

This Letter is to Inform You...

2008-11-15T20:30:00.001-08:00

My acceptance letter from UT hasn't actually arrived, but through the wonder of the digisphere I already know I've been accepted, don't ask how, the digisphere made me promise not to tell you.

So...now what? I get to study philosophy at the number five school of philosophy in the nation, live in Austin, go to the Texas equivalent of Central Park whenever I want, get involved with a real local live music scene, live in Austin, meet new people, live in Austin, buy records whenever I feel like it (or at least be close enough to gaze at them fondly if I can't afford them), live in Austin, etc.

It's exciting, but of course, carries a lot of weight with it. Like Dr. Jim says, we need to be prayed up. I think my prayer for me and mine would be that this would be an instrument of positive change and growth through success rather than failure, as I'm the sort to learn from either; I've done enough of the former, I'd like to try the latter.

Look What I Found!

2008-11-13T17:45:00.001-08:00

...On the internet.

Greetings from Lake Highlands Church of Awesome...

2008-11-12T16:28:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to talk about my church for a while, and figured now was a good time (talking about religion is the best way to wash the bad taste of politics out of your mouth right?).

Our pastor, Dr. Jim Reynolds, has been talking for the past few weeks about being the church outside of the church building. He's trying to combat the idea that worship is something that starts on Sunday morning and ends at noon. Here's an excerpt from his sermon "Marketplace Ministry"

I found his comments about the fundamental issue in life being life and death instead of good and evil to be refreshing, especially coming from an older minister. It's comforting to hear such honest talk about the problems of the church and to hear them coming from the pulpit.

Lake Highlands has been described as unique by a lot of people who go there, and I would have to agree. There's very little disconnect between what is taught and what is practiced by the body.

It's exciting going on Sunday, because you really don't know what's going to take place, we have the standard liturgy of announcements, songs, sermon, closing prayer. However the lineup usually gets interrupted and changed in some way from week to week. We might have a discussion on corporate fasting, drama from the youth, extended prayer for someone sick. All this adds up to an atmosphere of vibrant community starkly opposed to wrote, traditional, autonomous "worship".

Here's another bit from Jim's sermon.

I think one of the worst things we've done as Christians in the past hundred years is to make an idol out of self-righteousness. Sin is either conquered effortlessly or hidden in a closet so it appears to have been effortlessly conquered. As a result we've become terrified of sin, we're so afraid we'll catch it we've become all about not watching R-rated movies, not going to clubs, not drinking liquor/beer/wine, not talking to morally suspect people. How does the secular world identify us? By what we aren't.

It's a relief to be in a place that is focused on becoming what I should be instead of telling me how to stop being what I shouldn't.

Another things is that while Lake Highlands has a pretty loud, fully fleshed out worship band, you have a hard time hearing them over the congregation.

Which is awesome.

Some of Us are Dying in a Vacuum...

2008-11-08T00:30:00.000-08:00

...and the rest don't want to share any oxygen.

It's been a strange week, starting with nervous anticipation that turned to disquieted satisfaction ever evolving still through frustration, anger, dismay, sadness, hope, relief, and finally outright joy.

But to get perspective I'm listening to Sea Change while writing this.

(you should try listening to the album for at least four hours straight sometime)

I don't know everything, I probably don't even know enough for it to be worth your while to read this collection of essays, ramblings, and rants.

But I think it's better to be aware of that, than to know whatever it is I don't know. That much knowledge changes you, and not in a way I want to be changed.

The quest for truth is a strange quest to embark upon in an age that shouts at the top of it's collective lungs "THERE IS NO TRUTH."

I think the reason there is such rampant denial of something so obvious is simple.

The truth is just about the worst thing to know,
if knowing is where it stops for you.

Why? Probably because truth inherently moves people, and the truth-knowers who sit still, in denial, are killing themselves, and their knowledge does nothing but kill everything around them.

To be motivated by something false, or marginally incorrect even, and to respond to it without reservation, is a much better life to my mind, then to deny the motivations of perfected knowledge.

Who needs truth? When everyone who claims to have it is so messed up, it doesn't look very appealing, especially when everyone who doesn't is getting by just fine.

Compartmentalization of life is probably the subtlest form of suicide there is.

If you can isolate the relevance of something from anything you're already doing it.

The tragedy here is that we all need truth, direction propelled from false motivation can kill you a lot quicker, the other way, by virtue of being slower, is much more nasty and potentially devastating.

I'm reminded of Samuel L. Jackson towards the end of Pulp Fiction, he seems to be almost pleading with Tim Roth's character,

"I'm trying to be the shepherd"

For me to have peace of mind, the solution isn't to deny my inclination towards being a shepherd, I can only try to learn more about tending sheep.

Reason for Tears...

2008-11-07T16:49:00.000-08:00

We've all heard the accounts of people who watched the election results crying tears of joy over Obama's landslide victory. While I was excited, I didn't feel anywhere near that level of an emotional response, but today, after talking with an older black co-worker I started to realize what was going on underneath the surface of this historic election. Here's some of what he said...

"When I saw that Obama won, I cried like a baby, now you've got to understand, I didn't read about the civil rights movement in some history book, I only went to an integrated school my last year of high school. I remember a time when I couldn't drink out of a water fountain if I wanted to. But now I know, cuz I can see, there's no difference between black or white. If you want to do something, it doesn't matter who you are, now I know that it's true."

I understand now how hard it is for anyone who hasn't been on the recieving end of social injustice, bigotry, or outright hatred to really empathize with the emotions felt by a lot of people Tuesday night. I'd like to thank Roy for helping me understand the significance of this week.

Monthly Mixtape

2008-11-07T00:54:00.000-08:00

November: No Time For Love

It's been a wild month, I got a new boss, internet at the house, and earlier this week, a new President. Music has kinda taken a back seat for a bit, hence the delayed rollout and title of the November Mixtape. Anyway, without further ado...

1. Lust Child - Iggy Pop & The Supremes

Seeing as how this is a blog, I guess a mashup is a little overdo. This is probably my favorite.

2. Hang Me Out To Dry - Cold War Kids

File this one under "This band released an atrocious album this month, lets remember when they didn't suck."

3. Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

The Kings barely avoided earning the same blurb as the previously mentioned band, but Only by the Night has more than a handful of good tunes, this being one of the best.

4. From Which I Came - Eels

The Eels are one of those bands that you just have to listen to while reading, so I use them a lot, this is the first track off of Blinking Lights and Other Revelations the best 20+ track album I've ever heard.

5. We've Been Had - The Walkmen

A song I really identify with, both lyrically and, well pianically.

6. Family Tree - TV on the Radio

Finally, a new release I can unequivocally (spelling that was feat in and of itself) endorse. Dear Science is another great album from TVOTR.

Editor's Note: I really don't like those abbreviations of band names, movies, or books

7. Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie

Best Death Cab song ever. In honor of a friend on facebook.

8. Whitechocolatespaceegg - Liz Phair

Yeah, she has gone way too mainstream now, but there was a time when Liz Phair didn't pose semi-naked behind a guitar for an album cover (the cover of the album this song was taken from is a cool homage to Emmylou Harris).

9. I'm Just a Country Boy - Don Williams

Long before Weezer helped start the trend of emotional self-indulgence there was Don Williams, who wrote about emotional angst, but with substance. There is reason behind the forlornness of his music, which is more than you can say for must of the overwrought whining that passes for indie rock nowadays.

10. Come Back - Josh Rouse

Our church has a talent show at our Christmas party, we're going to be covering this song for it. Probably my favorite Josh Rouse song. Off his album 1972.

My Grandpa is in this awesome new movie...

2008-11-07T00:33:00.001-08:00

I recommend you watch this full screen.

What Does it Mean?

2008-11-05T02:37:00.000-08:00

It's a shame this didn't occur to me before I voted, as it is without a doubt, in my mind, the best reason to vote for Obama.

Barack Obama, as the first black President, has an opportunity to be hands down the most influential role model on a demographic that is in desperate need of a good example, namely young black men.

I didn't think there could ever be a voice that could shout louder than the blaring beats and philosophy of bitches and money that permeates hip-hop culture, but the quiet, firm voice of Obama has a shot.

Just one more audacious hope I guess.

Electioneering

2008-11-04T17:35:00.000-08:00

Before I begin this discussion, I'd like to say a few things, I believe abortion is the termination of an unborn child's life, but that belief does not exist in a vacuum. The Gospel is a pillar of my identity, and it states pretty plainly that sin is a part of a fallen world, that grace abounds to overcome it, and that as Christians we are to be the imperfect example of Christ's grace to the world. You may have to refer back to this statement while reading along.

The question I've answered for myself (as I've already voted) and which I've continuously considered throughout this entire campaign, is as follows...

What changed between the last time I voted and now, and is my decision to vote for a Democratic candidate a denial of my faith, a sidestepping of it, or a response to newly felt convictions?

In the last election I voted for George W. Bush, I did so mainly because of the moral issue of abortion. I believed that because the Democratic party supported a woman's right to choose over protecting the life of an unborn child I could not vote for a Democratic candidate. I cast my vote for Bush in an action I look back on as being done with almost total disinterest. I think when we make choices, though they may line up with a stock morality, lacking a passion and regeneration of the heart, we're slowly killing our faith.

I didn't want to re-elect Bush, but I didn't know anything about John Kerry, and when you don't know anything about someone, you'll believe anything someone you agree with says about them.
I don't know if I should have voted for Kerry or not, I'd have been in a better position to complain about Bush in the ensuing years.

Fast forward four years, and I'm hearing about this upstart young candidate Barack Obama. His rhetoric about the economy, the last eight years, the war, and a need for personal responsibility in the American individual and the American family all resonated strongly with me.

Was I sucked in by his charisma and slick speech making? Not really, I didn't hear him speak until the Democratic National Convention, everything I learned about him I read online.

As I became more and more interested in him, and the idea of voting for him (early on I was hoping for Rudy Gulianni to win the Republican nomination) I ran into the same issue that pushed me towards Bush in 2004.

Abortion is a sensitive issue, one that, while I line up with the pro-lifers, the way this belief has been brought out of the monastery and into the marketplace has always saddened me.

Christians in America, especially ones who vocalize to the media, seem more like the Pharisees of the early church days than the disciples of Jesus.

Some things I read early on that Obama had said: That He could not support the banning of abortion for religious reasons, as it would conflict with the separation of church and state, that abortion is a moral issue and a choice that no one wants to make, that the family needs to be the primary influence on any decision surrounding abortion instead of the courts.

I believe that you cannot legislate morality and change the hearts of men and women. I believe the instrument of change to impact abortion is the reclamation of the family. That starts with a call to responsibility and accountability, a call that Obama was making.

Book of...FACE!

2008-11-04T03:12:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I got one, go add me as your friend, unless, you know, you don't want to. But please, keep that to yourself, I've got a delicate enough ego as it is.

Anyway, I'm working on a piece right now, which is so lengthy it deserves to be called a piece, instead of a post.

Have a post of the piece, it's delicious...

"...It started out with a conversation with my mom about how she could not vote Democrat because of the abortion issue, which got me thinking, how could I?"

That's how the piece, which will be posted posthaste in order to promote peace and prosperity in this land of political parity and parody, gets the ball rolling.

Or should I have said pie rolling? If only to keep the plethora of p-words in play?

I'm sorry, you're getting annoyed while I amuse myself, like some old lady blathering on and on about a kitten and a ball of string, or what some bird did when it visited her feeder.

Anyway, I'm working on it, such a thing can either be balanced and thought provoking, like an Oliver Stone movie, or hastily thrown together and irrelevantly preachy, like an Oliver Stone movie.

It may roll out in segments, or I may just projectile vomit the whole mess at once.

Doing theology Vs. Knowing Theology...

2008-10-29T01:38:00.000-07:00

Seeing as how I spent the last 21 years on the knowing theology team, and just recently changed over to the doing theology team, or rather, have been traded between the two teams but am not quite sure how I feel about it yet...

The predominant theme/idea/message at our church is do the theology that you know. And I love that, particularly since I see very clearly how when you don't try to do anything you learn, you just spend more time learning. Very much the pitfall I see a lot of Christians falling into.

Jesus gave a few very simple commands, which despite their simplicity (love your neighbor, honor your father and mother, don't lust or hate in your heart, mind, or body, etc.) have been almost impossible for the majority of Christianity to follow. And by majority I mean the majority of Christianity I have experienced or observed in close proxy.

I'm not attacking the pursuit of knowledge of scripture, the study of fringe theology like eschotology, predestination, or any other church word longer than five letters. All those things can produce vibrant communion with our God, but they do very little for communion with the Body.

D.A. Carson warned in his introduction to the book Exegetical Fallacies that any study that focuses on the negative can be dangerous. It can lead to high minded feelings of superiority, a negative attitude, an overall deadening of the transformative faith.

I would go one step further to say that any study solely for the purpose of knowledge, without application, is very dangerous. Not can be, could be, or is if it's some other denomination with bad theology. It just is.

Knowledge puffs up, inflating the mind (the most impotent of organs when not bent on moving the body) and squashing the heart, you lose empathy, mercy, grace towards those you are supposed to be reaching out to (the lost) and eventually you become so nitpicky that you are even isolated from your brothers and sisters in the faith.

What is the study of theology good for?

A deepening of understanding, but if you just keep deepening your understanding without it affecting your life you're only digging yourself a theological bomb shelter.

And like my man Matt Chandler said, "You are the salt of the earth, so get in the cupboard."

We don't need bulletproof theology, we need humble, broken bleeding theology. A test of whether or not your study is beneficial would be just that. Do you feel better capable of shooting down bad thought processes, or do you feel pulled to the weak, the hungry, the abandoned, the abused and lost?

So I guess, if you're like me, wanting to climb out of your bomb shelter and interact with humanity, you're probably asking something like "Help me know how to stop being obsessed with just knowing and get out and do it."

You're just going to have to start listening to those nudges the Spirit gives you, that guy you should have encouraged? Say something. The shady looking guy wanting you to put some gas in his car so he can get across town to help his sick daughter? Give him some gas despite the fact that he's probably just a bum.

You won't ease your guilt of not helping out people by trying to learn more about God.

Instead, listen to what God tells you to help people, obey Him.

In Response to Bryan...

2008-10-28T02:00:00.000-07:00

I was commenting on a friend's blog about bonhoeffer's idea of cheap vs. costly grace, his original post can be read here, but I put so much effort into my reply, I decided to just post it.

Cheap grace sounds like an interesting concept, except that even the grace described as cheap is costing something, credibility, accountability, relevance...we've been paying for cheap grace for a long time, and in the end, I think we'll find it to be more costly than the other kind.

I think the point of Atonement is simple, the injustice of man cannot be atoned for by an unjust man (I know, a staggeringly original idea, quote me if you want).Is becoming a nurse going to turn things around? No, will years, or even decades, of selfless servitude affect the lives she destroyed? Hardly, and she may not know it yet, but she will realize it at some point, when all the weight of her guilt will return, unlightened by time or service.We can fight with all we have, giving everything, and we still won't be able to turn back the tidal wave of destruction caused by even one small lie, or seemingly insignificant selfish act.

It's like Joker said, "When the chips are down, these people will eat each other."

What he should have said afterwards is,

"Batman, the chips are down, and you won't be able to pull that guy's arm from the grip of that girl's jaws even if you tugged for your entire life"

We aren't just beyond saving, we're consuming each other as we speak. Atonement paints the same picture.

Sorry, I just go done reading World War Z, which is too awesome to even attempt to describe,
Go read it yesterday!

Christendom is Dead...

2008-10-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

I'm sure most of you already knew this, since you're reading a blog, and therefore know how to use a computer.

It held on a long time, more than a thousands years, but I think I can say without a doubt, that it is dead.

The vibrant communities of faith that exist in asia and africa do so without any political clout or authority or cultural popularity.

But more relevant to where we are now.

Christianity in America needs to stop acting as if it has some sort of fortress of moral superiority to protect. The castle doesn't exist anymore, the fact that what it was made out to be never existed either is beside the point.

Statistics show no difference in lifestyle between a Christian and the average secular individual. Whatever checks and balances on pop culture that used to exist are either ignored or gone (consider last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy).

I would like to drag this out longer, but I need to get home and get some sleep. I'll close with the punchline,

However long it took for it to die, I'm glad it finally did.

Viscious!!!

2008-10-22T02:17:00.001-07:00

I think it (Viscious!!!) could be the new righteous (as in stoner exclamation of praise, not Godlikeness).

I have to clear up the whole viscious moralism thing.

I got sidetracked from my original thesis, which wasn't that the coen bros. have this philosophy called viscious moralism, which is tough to defend I'll concede (though not impossible).

But since that wasn't my original thesis, I'll state it here...

"The Coen's are really viscious moralists."

I think their work is about ethics, and that they promote moralism and do it visciously. No Country fits in with everything that happens to Josh Brolin after the seemingly innocent decision to take the dead drug dealer's money.

Star Wars Mania in the works! (All six episodes back 2 back 2 back 2 back 2 back 2 back)

Brought to you by the Dell Store in Northpark...

2008-10-12T13:24:00.001-07:00

And Sun Chips, a healthy alternative to potato chips.

I was asked by a friend from church to comment on my Coen brother's philosophy, particularly in relation to Burn After Reading.

The thesis of the Coen Brother's philosophy is this:

Joel and Ethan Coen are Viscious Moralists...

Viscious Moralism has to be explained (apparently I unwittingly invented it).

I would consider moralism to be the exaltation of doing the right thing, whatever that may be, where the moral action becomes no longer an act of worship, but the deity.

There is no higher reality or aim to moralism. You do what's right, because it's right.

Now, Burn After Reading enforces this (consider everything they've done since Raising Arizona as well).

You have a cast of unlikeable mostly amoral characters whose lives are depressingly moronic and mundane.

And they're all politicans and CIA/FBI spooks.

With the exception of the employees at the gym.

Frank, the manager, is the only remotely likeable character in the entire movie, he's also something of an advice giver/father-figure/almost boyfriend to Frances McDormand's character.

He violates his straight laced, moral nature and what happens?

He ends up being shot and brutally hatcheted to death in one of the Coen's most striking scenes since the woodchipper.

Juxtaposed with how Frances McDormand makes out (she gets what she wants, though her existence is definitely the most depressing of the entire cast) you get Viscious Moralism...

An aimless servile dedication to rightness nets far worse results than narcissistic amoral lunacy.

I've got to wrap this up, the Dell Store guys look like they think I'm using them for their internet...

Talk later...

P.S. Buy one of these XPS laptops, they're awesome!

Jim's Book, Stephanie's dog, King's concert, My life...

2008-10-11T02:06:00.000-07:00

I've been reading my pastor's book The Leper's Among Us about homosexuality and the church. It's got a lot of good insight, and as he has actually ministered to several men in the church who now have families (not, as the book says, that heterosexual marriage is a benchmark for a "recovering" homosexual) his writings don't sound distanced or preachy.

Jim has a lot to say, and though the spoiled reader in me wants flashier, shinier, better produced presentation, the content of this book is fantastic.

Now for something completely different...

We are getting a dog today! He's an australian shepherd-lab mix and named...this is awesome beyond all reason...Chewbacca, or Chewie for the less nerdy.

I think home church is already having positive impact on me and only after two weeks! I am becoming more caring about other people (the term other-oriented is too soulless for me, essentially, I give a shit now).

What is the best thing about putting yourself last? All this other cool stuff gets some airtime for starters, and as anybody who has a shred of honesty in them knows, it's the self that derails the happy train faster than anything else.

For instance, I really really wanted to go see the Kings of Leon at the end of this month, they're one of my favorite bands and the supporting lineup has another fave (the stills, both are in this month's playlist).

I have plenty of money to do so, but I decided to do something special for my wife instead, she has no idea how awesome this Christmas is going to be...but doing it sapped any of my spare cash for the next few months.

I won't be buying any more records til next year probably, and the concert is definitely out. But do I miss either of those things?

The answer is simple, I don't miss those things nearly as much as I look forward to the look on Lacey's face this December.

Monthly Mixtape

2008-10-09T01:57:00.000-07:00

October: Brown Paper Packages...

This is another lazy month,

a list of ten songs,

with some words,

Read em and weep.

Or listen.

A New Decade - The Verve

Why don't I listen to Oasis? Two reasons, their douchebag frontmen and The Verve. And no, none of the other descriptions will be this brief, but I will strive for brevity...sort of.

Lola Stars and Stripes - The Stills

The Stills debut album Logic Will Break Your Heart, besides having a great title, is loaded with great songs that are romantic without being too messy or too dissonant, political without being preachy or obscure. The music is lush without sounding overproduced, don't ask me how, it just is. I'll try to use the word "without" less frequently.

Powder Blue - Elbow

Elbowing their way into my top five bands, this is the band we almost got when Keane and Coldplay were talking about merging back in the 90's before either made it big (didn't know that? Yeah, we almost had a 21st century version of the Beatles). Now both bands pale in comparison to Elbow, who perhaps has the worst name, but hands down has the best catalog. Disagree? Give em a listen.

Arizona - The Kings of Leon

Sadly, the Kings new album wasn't released early enough last month for me to use a track from it, maybe next month. In their honor (they are coming to town this month, with fellow mixtape companion, The Stills) I've got one of the best tracks from their third album released just last year, or maybe early this year. I'm not sure, it hasn't been long though.

Lights Out for Darker Skies - British Sea Power

Besides the Kings of Leon, British Sea Power has the best third album release of the new generation of rock n roll. While their peers have been making mistakes (Interpol, The Storkes, etc...) they've released three solid albums, with Do You Like Rock Music? being their best yet.

Profanity Prayers - Beck

Let me start things off by saying I'm a big fan of Danger Mouse, and I think he is exactly what Beck needed to wash the muck of his last album off his hands, out of his hair, and from whatever other crevices it may have clung. I seriously hated The Information. But Modern Guilt is a great enema to that diarrhetic piece of sonic trash. Hyperbolic? Listen to it and get back to me.

All You Do is Talk - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

BRMC is another reason I need to give up the top five list concept. This song is from their newest album, which was not well recieved by critics, and I'm the only fan I know so I'm not sure how diehards felt about it. I thought this was the best song from it though.

All These Things that I've Done - The Killers

The main reason for putting this song up is that Nike commercial from the Olympics. If you missed it, find it on youtube. The other reason is it may remind you of when they didn't suck. Their performance on SNL last weekend was pitiable. Brandon Flowers looked like an ostrich in desperate need of some prozac (if you saw it, you know what I mean) and the music was snooze worthy.

I Think I'm In Love - Spiritualized

Spiritualized is probably in my top five bands, not that it matters to you, but I came to that realization this month I also realized as of this moment I probably have too many top five bands to actually narrow it down to a single top five. Oh, and this is one of the best eight minute songs there is, period.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Originally this song came in front of the BRMC track, hence the odd repition of the top five concept, I know it looks odd, but the list flows better now, remember, it's all about the music.

Only in Dreams - Weezer

Another one of the best eight minute songs, but not quite worthy of saying "period" at the end. Is it really sad to peak on your first album? I would say yes, only because Weezer refuses to admit it. I haven't even bothered checking out the Red Album.

Apologies...

2008-09-24T01:41:00.000-07:00

For the last post, it was obscenely melodramatic.

Homage...

2008-09-23T02:15:00.000-07:00

We visited a home group for the first time last night. It was fantastic. But then, I may just be really, really lonely and getting to just talk to some friendly people I share a connection with was great. Lacey and the girls seemed to have a good time as well.

The only bummer is now we're on hiatus for "friends" week. So, it'll be two weeks before we get another chance to "plug in".

Corelating human interaction with appliances seems odd, but if you think about it...a lifeless tool becames useful when it's plugged in...but I'm getting way too deep with this simple cliche.

I played a worship song on the guitar for the first time in months yesterday. The only thing is, I played it over and over for at least 3 hours.

I almost feel whole again.

If I were only perfect, life would be right now.

REPENT YOU CHRISTIANS!

2008-09-21T12:39:00.000-07:00

The Confession booth idea for next week's outreach event has been in the back of my mind since we (me and Angela) decided to do it. I've put this post together to help others prepare. Preparation of this type is good for any kind of outreach

"Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips,

then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyles.

That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

- Dc Talk

I really don't like Christian music, mostly because it doesn't exist (Music doesn't have a soul, it can't get saved). But this quote sums up what we're trying to combat with the Confession Booth next weekend.

For those of you who are still unclear about what the confession booth is, essentially, like the confession booth of orthodox faiths, it is a place where you confess sin. The difference between this confession booth and the traditional booth is that those visiting the booth will be confessed to, not do any confessing. We, the confessors who are running the booth, will confess the misrepresentation of Christ we have committed individually and collectively as a church.

What does that mean?

On a smaller, more personal level, apologizing for being judgmental, sectarian, unfriendly, proud, arrogant, pharisee-ish. On the larger, collective scale, admitting that protesting gay pride parades, abortion clinics, and the Democratic National Convention is not what Jesus is about. That we the body of Christ have spent too many years being the mind and the mouth and almost no time being the hands and heart.

Maybe you don't agree with this idea (that Christianity has been misrepresenting itself for ages). If so the confession booth probably isn't for you. I don't have the time to argue that point here, although I'd be willing to discuss it with anyone who has any questions, or wants to share their opinion.

Here is some of the stuff I'm going to be doing to prepare for manning the booth...

1. Re-Reading The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism

Tim Keller's book has some of the best answers to tough questions skeptics ask. If you haven't read it, go get it and read the chapters dealing with objections to faith.

2. Researching Anti-Christian Thought

Do you want to know how Christians are viewed by secular society? Watch an episode of South Park, or the movie Saved. Read the Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right by Robert Lanham. Christians are not popular, and why? Asking yourself that question honestly will help prepare you for what you might hear next sunday. We aren't here to win a popularity contest, but if we were living our lives in a Christ-like way, we'd be more than a punch-line on late night tv.

3. Reading Sections of Blue Like Jazz

This book inspired the whole Confession Booth idea in the first place. Chapter 11 would be a good thing to read in prep for next week, it contains the confession booth story but the whole book is an excellent representation of one man's sanctification (theologispeak for spiritual growth). If you want to know more about loving unloveable people this book is a good place to start.

I won't lie to you (whoever you are) I'm not rock-solid confident about this thing, but my worst fear is not worrying about what I'll say, but whether I'll have anyone to say anything to.

Confessions of a Journeyman Audiophile...

2008-09-11T02:02:00.001-07:00

"Let the great world spin forever,
down the ringing grooves of change"
-A.L. Tennyson-

I'm a month into my conversion to vinyl collecting/converting and I've already discovered that despite it's purist elements, the vinyl movement is really just another way for the American consumer to throw away hundreds of dollars on an "identity". But it's totally not like that for me, I swear.

Now I need a new turntable, which means a reciever to be able to utilize the speakers I bought last month, which means another couple hundred bucks. Or, if I'm lucky, the turntable I'm looking at has a preamp in it already. But this technical jargon is not the stuff of a good blog entry.

I'm just trying to illustrate that with anything you get interested in, if you find yourself throwing a ton of money at it, ask yourself why. I've asked myself, and the truth is that listening to music on vinyl teaches me patience, allows me to appreciate the work of the artists I enjoy more thoroughly, and also repays the music industry for all those mp3's I've downloaded.

Still, as hobbies go, this one is relatively cheap (to collect every record I desire and purchase the eqipment to utilize them I'm looking at less than $2,000). Compared to other types of art collection, that's pretty economical.

I have to remind myself that I'm obsessing over this almost every day, that may sound like it isn't accomplishing much, but it does curb the appetite. Mostly I have to remember that the resources I have under my control need to be guided towards more practical purposes for the time being (I've budgeted this whole thing, something unheard of for me). Lacey manages all the bills, I plan out a detailed and thorough plan to buy a ton of records.

I know somebody sees the irony/outright evil of that situation. I could really manage the money if I applied myself to it, but when I try to harness my energies for something they don't naturally incline themselves to, I find the results at best ineffectual and at worst disastrous.

That isn't a cop-out, it's just the way things have always been with me. I don't think I have any control over what my heart desires to do, or at least, I don't have any right now. If anybody knows some ironclad methods for harnessing uncontrollable and unquantifiable energy, let me know.

Monthly Mixtape

2008-09-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

September: Glorious Indie Rock

This month kind of caught me by suprise, I was working a list of rap, r&b, and hip-hop but never got the ten tracks nailed down. Then I started listening to Spiritualized again and I knew I had to put Ladies and Gentlemen up this month. Everything else sort of followed...

1. Ladies and Gentlemen We are Floating in Space - Spiritualized

Spiritualized is classified as dream pop on allmusic. However, when I think of dream pop, I think boring synthesizers and electric pianos...this is definitely not dream pop.

2. Thank You Guru - Lost on Purpose

A very indie band, Lost on Purpose is so unsuccessful they haven't even recorded a full length album. Probably because nothing they've recorded is close to being as good as this track.

3. I will Survive - Art Brut

Naming yourself after an art movement isn't a groundbreaking idea, but actually embodying the ideals of the art movement with your musical style is. Especially when you have this much fun doing it.

4. Mama, won't you keep them castles in the air and burning? - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!

This guy's voice is almost irritating, but any fool knows that walking that line is a sure path to greatness, or at least popular mediocrity. CYHSY! seems like a junior Arcade Fire, but considering the greatness of that band, it would have to be taken as a compliment

5. Somewhere a Star Shines for Everyone - The Innocence Mission

My favorite track from the coolest lullaby album ever.

6. Rings of Symbols - Pilotdrift

Local boys Pilotdrift almost made good. Merging a love for soundscapes and the Beatles (otherwise known as Oasis) Pilotdrift wrote one great song, so good it carried a very mediocre debut album into much higher spheres of critical appreciation than it deserved.

7. All I Have to do is Dream - The Everly Brothers

Speaking of the Beatles, here is one of their influences. Kind of a disturbing song really.

8. Mine is Yours - Mouse on Mars

A German chemical brothers, nuff said.

9. White Daisy Passing - Rocky Votolato

Rocky Votolato is to Elliott Smith what The Dandy Warhols are to The Brian Jonestown Massacre, but I still like him. If that sentence means nothing to you, don't worry about it, just listen to the song.

10. Fraud in the 80's - Mates of State

High school teachers marry and quit their jobs to form a band, how sexy is that?

Three Dark Knights...

2008-08-28T02:00:00.000-07:00

I feel increasingly burdened by just about everything. For the last three weeks the person I've trained at work has laid some pretty heavy personal stuff on me, I don't know what the status quo is, or if it even exists. But if it's some general standard among humanity, it's declining and on levels that most don't even recognize as a decline.

The family unit as it has existed in years past may not have been as idyllic as it was made out to be, but I don't see how what we have now is any better.

Of the three people I've trained, they all came from single parent/divorced/unmarried homes and were all involved in a second or third relationship, some not even really being in one anymore but have a few kids to take care of on their own.

The sordid details of their lives were more troubling than any dramatic account in any medium (film, song, literature). And the reason that all those problems, issues, failures, and often outright stupidity were so much more distressing than the turmoil and conflict of art is that they are trivial and commonplace.

What's a guy to do?

There is no light that penetrates such infinite darkness, at least...and this is more telling, there is no light that I feel I possess enough of to pass on into such infinite darkness that has more than a fool's chance of bringing peace and light to anyone.

I guess I could sum it up by saying, quit preaching to the choir and listen to some of the people who don't even go to church. And if, after you've listened to everything they have to say you still have something to say...go ahead and say it.

But for right now, I'm going to keep my mouth shut.

The Arts...

2008-08-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine suggested I throw together a list of suggested listening in order to turn my readership onto some new, as-yet-unheard-of music. Off the top of my head, here's a few...

Fleet Foxes, Rogue Wave, The National, The Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, and The Black Keys.

I briefly browsed the library today, and came across a collection of essays by G.K. Chesterton, it was titled All is Gist and besides the fact that gist is a word fallen out of use of late (as is any word that can't be reduced to a combination of letters and symbols) it's an excellent collection. He has a way of exposing the intellectual childishness of almost any idea or position without sounding capricious or dogmatic (i.e. like an asshole).

If self-deprecation is the new irony I'm ahead of the curb, having moved on to self-aggrandizement: a tasteful melding of the two. the humor of which, nobody seems to get, much to my chagrin. Or maybe I'm just not funny...

...In case that sentence meant nothing to you, pick up a dictionary, reread it and then google the indie movement, will ferrell, and trends in humor. Or just get to know me, and you'll probably come to understand (after the dictionary reread anyway).

Not exactly the arts, but may I take a brief (pun coming) commercial break to talk about Michael Phelps?

Is he humble? Does he self-deprecate with the best of them? Has he got an unknown sensitive humanitarian side? Does he listen to The Shins?

The answer to all of those questions is (in the tradition of Will Smith) a resounding "Hell Nawww"

This guy makes Christian Bale in American Psycho look humble, he has no sense of humor, spends all his time training, and listens to a playlist of Pantera, ICP, and Slipknot.

He's probably the most type A human being I can think of right now, but you know what? I can't help but love the guy. He crushes the competition almost effortlessly. He breaks world records like they were toothpicks, even more impressive, the world record holder before he broke them? Himself, Michael Phelps is not only the greatest, he's better than the greatest, because he even breaks the records set by the greatest. When you are the best at what you do, and you do better than you did...you've reached some plateau of human existence I can't even comprehend.

But you know what I didn't see yesterday when he won his 4th and 5th gold medals? Satisfaction. For all his strength, there is nothing that can appease him, all the training in the world and in his moment of triumph not even the slightest sign of excitement?

Of course you'll say he'll be excited when he breaks Spitz's record of 7 gold medals in one Olympics. And he probably will, but I would almost guarantee you that even afterwards, there will still be something lacking.

Michael Phelps reminds me of the rich man, trying to squeeze through the doorway to heaven, which for him, is as wide as the eye of a needle.

Chester TON

2008-08-06T01:38:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to think I should pay closer attention to the stuff my dad likes...because GK Chesterton is an amazing writer and I knew he liked him for a long time, but it wasn't until I came across a reference to him in Blue Like Jazz that I actually desired to read him. Could have cut to the chase a long time ago...

"Poetry sits at peace in an infinite sea, reason tries to cross the infinite sea and make it finite, the result is mental exhaustion. The poet sits with his head in the heavens and is at rest, the scientist tries to fit heaven into his head and it splits."

awesome...

Monthly Mixtape

2008-07-31T19:14:00.000-07:00

August: Top Five Records

You can’t love pop music without keeping High Fidelity in one of the climate controlled places of your heart. John Cusack is the essential everyman (I just quoted a couple hundred movie reviews) and anything his characters believe or say is easy to identify with on some level. His constant top fiving throughout the movie has been copy-catted by thousands of would-be hipsters, aspiring indie darlings, and breakfast-clubbers, myself included. So, here is my desert island top five records, the five albums I could not live without or in this case, imagine living without. Since I don’t have the cyberclout to store five entire albums in the ether I’ll stick with ten songs, picking two from each album.

Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots – The Flaming Lips
Do You Realize? & Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell

There are many ways to peak as an artist. You can do it without anybody knowing it (like Emily Dickinson), you can do it on your first try (like Weezer), you can have a body of work so well loved that you never actually peak, you’re always considered golden (like The Beatles). With Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, The Flaming Lips peaked at a time nobody expected. In the music industry, a band doesn’t usually make their best album on the tenth try. The Flaming Lips must be the exception that proves the rule, because this is one of the greatest albums ever made.

Turn on the Bright Lights – Interpol

NYC & Leif Erikson

Turn on the Bright Lights was the album that shook me from the confines of “Christian” music. It was not the first “secular” music I heard, but it was the first full album I listened to on repeat for weeks, rather than random mixes from some tape of songs I recorded off the radio. Interpol’s music was coming from places I identified with deep down, but never expected to understand through a medium like music. This album turned my world upside down in a lot of ways.

Ok Computer – Radiohead

Let Down & No Suprises

Putting Ok Computer on this list probably deserves the classic line from Jack Black’s character in High Fidelity, “What’s next? The Beatles?” Radiohead is without a doubt the Fab Four of the 21st century and Ok Computer is their Sgt Peppers. However, unlike the Beatles, Radiohead is not a slam dunk band that everybody likes or even claims to like. They can be off-putting to a new listener, but if you hear the one right song, it’s like somebody threw some switch in your brain, and you suddenly become a die-hard fan. I didn’t like their music until I heard Let Down, which is still my favorite Radiohead song.

Funeral – The Arcade Fire

Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) & Wake Up

The Arcade Fire exceeded any listener’s expectations by releasing a note perfect debut album devoid of a single weak filler track, pretentious lyric or obnoxious guitar solo. Full of well-arranged instrumentation, thought provoking lyrics and passionate vocalization, The Arcade Fire’s debut was a joy to hear. The title Funeral was apt, as four of the five members of the band lost someone in their family during the recording of the album. As a result many of the lyrics confronted the themes intertwined with death and loss in ways that were sometimes hopeful but never sugar-coated, lifting an already excellent album into the stratosphere.

Figure Eight – Elliott Smith

Somebody That I Used to Know & Can’t Make a Sound

Elliott Smith has a reputation as a depressing singer-songwriter. And I guess there’s no denying that (he did kill himself). But his music has always been so well-written and executed that I usually get a pick-me-up from it. His lyrics are so good that I’ve said on more than one occasion that if you imagine that Bob Dylan could carry a tune without a bucket and had a lot more angst and you’d be imagining Elliott Smith. On Figure Eight Elliott moved beyond the simple acoustic setup of previous albums, adding electric guitars, drums, and keyboards on nearly all the tracks. Like Bob Dylan, when Elliott plugged in, he did some of his best work.

Juggling Act

2008-07-31T01:38:00.001-07:00

I'm currently reading several great books at the same time, while studying Romans and preparing next month's playlist (top five records is the theme).

Nevertheless, my brain is suffering from ED, I seriously think my grey matter is unwinding. I'm hoping this will lead to some sort of union with "the force" where I cease to possess a physical body and live forever as a blue hologram.

In reality I'm just scatterbrained (can ya tell?). But I decided to throw together a hodge-podge of ideas from what I've been reading and studying.

First, can I ask an obvious question (in relation to the study of Romans) why is it that Paul is capable of being, at times remarkably succint and at other times, maddeningly vague? I'm too scatterbrained to pull in actual references but even after addressing my Roman's commentary (Stott) I'm no closer to understanding more difficult sections (Romans 9) and find the applications of several of the basic sections (Romans 1-4) to be hard to buy into.

But on to some of the books. The Reason For God by Tim Keller is the madnotes! I'm not sure if it's appropriate to combine a Kevin Smith reference with an apologetics book, but if it isn't...I never said I was appropriate, or family friendly. Anyway, the book is fantastic. Talk about a respectable and learned response to the skeptical age in which we live. GO BUY IT NOW.

The Overwhelming Power of Affection...

2008-07-26T01:55:00.000-07:00

We never end a bad habit without starting a new one, one obsession/hobby is replaced with another.

Consider this trend...

Young guy into porn matures to date real woman, gets married, becomes a workaholic, retires and decides his years of experience have made him superior to everyone arround him.

Sex/wealth/wisdom and I skipped decades of sub-fixations and attractions that would crop up along the way.

You know how a smoker finally quits and half the time develops an eating disorder?

Our hearts are designed to be zeroed in on something,

Contrary to popular opinion, I don't think it's a mental abberation to need to smoke 2 packs a day, eat a couple gallons of ice cream before bed, drink a bottle of vodka til you forget your name, or have sex with a stranger to feel something.

We are designed for obsession, total unhealthy abandon...diving headfirst over heels into whatever gives us pleasure, saves us from our imaginary hell, or quiets the inner demons.

The truth is that anything will consume you if you want it to. You're just going to break yourself into smaller pieces if you try to fix your symptoms without addressing the fact that you love doing what destroys you.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart...

Do you see the yin-yang of that statement? Everything looks good, but it is eternity your heart longs for. You can't keep pouring matter into a black hole and expect to plug it like some sort of cosmic toilet. Only infinity can satisfy the maddening emptiness of eternity.

God has made us with an emptiness, King David compared longing for God like dying in the desert from dehydration...

Back By Popular Demand...

2008-07-24T01:28:00.000-07:00

I'm always struck by the theological depth of secular art. For instance, The Dark Knight has a great parallel between the Joker, Batman, God, and Satan.

If you know anything about the nature of Batman (his one rule) and the Joker (his mission to provoke Batman by destroying everything dear to him) you have to ask yourself this question...

"Why does Batman let the Joker live?"

And now consider God and Satan, you could ask the same question. I love that the image of the Joker as some hammy comedian psychopath (with hammy comedian coming first and psychopath a distant third) was completely shattered by Heath Ledger's performance.

The script and his acting combined to bring a realization of the Joker's character to the screen that eclipsed even that of Frank Miller's graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns.

The excellence of the script is no suprise, Jonathon Nolan (the director's brother) cowrote with director Christopher Nolan, a collaboration last seen in the brilliantly inventive Memento.

Maybe we're looking at another brotherly duo? The Nolan brother's could be picking up Oscar's hand over fist next spring.

Why So Serious?

2008-07-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

Probably because you didn't buy tickets to the Dark Knight, now stop reading my blog, go stand in line for a few hours so you can see the most amazing movie in 20 years.

Nobrainers...

2008-07-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

"There is a thought that stops thought,

and that is the only thought that must be stopped."
-G.K. Chesterton

We live in a polarized age, the middle class is rapidly dissolving in every respect, moderate attitudes are virtually nonexistent. There are only the two extremes to choose between in every choice you can make. The idea that there is little that is black and white is now described with the color grey giving the idea of trying to be two-handed a negative conotation. We have two political parties that are supposed to represent our entire population?

Interestingly enough, current presidential candidate Barack Obama has been accused of adopting moderate positions to certain issues that alienate his liberal following and yet he is doubly condemned for it by his opposition. Society seems to have swallowed the idea that they can pick one side and that settles it.

Nobody wants to investigate any idea, study anything, or wrestle with difficult issues. I would be suprised if anyone made the effort to study Scripture with the dedication we see in eras of Christian Enlightment (the Reformation). Martin Luther said when he was preparing to preach over Romans to his congregation he found the Pauline text to be extremely challenging to understand, what was his response? "I beat Paul until he submitted" is how he described his coming to an understanding of Paul's letter to the Romans.

Now that sounds like an idea worth trying. But is anybody really going to wrestle with God in this day and age? We pray, in a half-assed way. Oh, God will respond yes, no, or not right now...and my circumstances will dictate his response to me...

Does anybody see how apathetic and lazy Christianity has become? Not that I'm singling out Christians (that's why I started with the cultural aspects of this concept). The idea that study and deep thought on Scripture would somehow be selfish or an ineffectual use of time is not something any Christian would endorse. But what is it they are condemning by rejecting the concept of seminarian study? I have heard from someone at one point or another in every church I've ever visited (and I'm including ones I visited once, this always comes up).

Nobody wants to think about anything, and they defend it by saying they're doers. But they aren't doing anything either, so really...they're just lazy.

Denominational Debauchery: Conclusion

2008-07-10T02:29:00.001-07:00

I had a lot of material for my treatise on the Presby's. But I decided to scrap the fourth round (maybe it was the overwhelming influence of all those three point sermons I heard as a kid).

Why do you ask? Mostly because each consecutive entry has gotten harder to write, and not because there was a shortage of ridiculous aspects of any of the denominations I honed in on. I guess I realized more and more that doing one entry, summarizing the whole denominational issue would have been more productive and beneficial.

Besides, the Presby's "God's Smartest Children"...that's my team. The one denomination I haven't every held membership with but agree with the most as far as doctrine goes (the baptism of babies is the only thing that I find to be questionable so far, but I've only read the shorter catechism).

Is arguing over the whole Armenian/Calvinist thing unproductive? I would say yes, if that is all you're doing. But I think that in maturing your discipleship the question begs to be answered. If not directly, than at least the doctrines of the two sides should be mentioned as they will surely come up naturally (total depravity, predestination, atonement, sovereignty are good meaty doctrine for church-folk to chew on).

I'll stop trying to educate all you Armenians (my definition of an Armenian? A Calvinist who is still very early in the sanctification process...joke! aim your fiery darts elsewhere...seriously though, calm down ) long enough to wrap up the denominational debacle.

My point all along has been to say that our fractiousness as believers is not unbiblical, but our isolation from each other is.

Paul says it doesn't matter which baptism you follow, as long as it leads to Jesus. He doesn't discount the possibility of disunity he only condemns the self-righteous separatist nature of those who followed different "baptisms" (read denominations).

Stop getting behind a man, and making that your identity. Get behind the God-man and let him shine through you, identifying you as a true follower.

I don't think denominationalism will cease to exist. I don't know if I want it to. If you look at the denominations I mentioned they all were like pieces of a puzzle, if you fit them together they would combine to form a more effective Christ-glorifying whole.

The problem is that the puzzle pieces keep fighting amongst each other so nobody can see what the picture is that they create.

If you combined the doctrinal values of the Baptists with the discipling leadership of the Church of Christ, set it on fire in the Holy Spirit that works so powerfully in the Assembly's of God while growing deeper roots with the theological and Scriptural dedication of the Presbyterians you would have something that looked a lot more like Jesus (that sentence is a grammatical nightmare but I'm too tired/busy to sort it all out).

I'm either going to start working on transcribing the Gospel message in my own words (as I've started in my journal) or go over the 5 Calvin/Armenian doctrines. I'll probably do both but which one first? I don't know

I love you all...

Denominational Debauchery: Round Three

2008-07-08T18:51:00.000-07:00

The Assemblies of God:
"God's Wackiest Children"

The Pentecostal movement is one that should be blamed, more than any other, for making Christians seem crazy.

Not that we aren't.

Good things first though, the Ass. of God has come up with more outside the box ways of reaching out to people than anything I've seen. Probably because believing in things like secret prayer languages and divine healing will always appeal to an outside-the-box thinker.

In California, the Dream Center (sounds creepy and new age right?) is pretty much the hub for outreach in the city of LA. They have some amazing ideas, my two favorites are their ministry to prostitutes where they give them white roses and share the Gospel. The other is just hilarious because it reminds me of entrapment, they get a mechanic, a minister and a driver and cruise the highways for broken down cars. They spot one, pull over and start fixing it while the minister delivers the Gospel. What's the stranded motorist gonna do? Run through the six lanes of traffic to the other side?

Now the problems.

If you look at the doctrinal statements of most major denominations you will find a some common core ideas, fundamental aspects of Christianity that even the "crazy" denominations hold to.

Pentecostal doctrine does not subtract from any of those basic elements. But it does add to them. It is in these additions where my biggest complaints rest.

They are divine healing and speaking in tongues as evidence of receiving the Holy Spirit.

Now, I don't doubt the existence of miracles or acts of healing. What I hate is the promotion of these things before Christ. If there is one consistent element in Jesus' ministry to the sick, diseased, and dying it is that forgiveness of sins is what they really needed. Any alleviation of physical ailment was secondary. Just like prosperity gospel, this emphasis on divine healing subjects God to man, using him as a bridge to something else. If you read the gospels, especially the story of John the Baptist (in Luke 7) it becomes pretty clear that the only thing we need to be fully satisfied in the Gospel is the love of the glory of God, by whatever means that may be best accomplished.

On the issue of speaking in tongues, I'm not against the idea of a secret prayer language, mostly because I've actually heard it. It was a powerful Spirit filled moment. I think people who debunk it obviously don't have the gift and should see it in practice before they start belittling. However the Ass. of God claim that when someone receives the Holy Spirit they speak in a tongue...anyone who hasn't has yet to receive the Spirit. Obviously I have a problem because I have the Holy Spirit, and I've never spoken in a tongue.

Should you doubt that I possess the Holy Spirit let me explain something...I'm on the internet at 4 am, completely alone and I have no inclination whatsoever to look at dirty pictures on the web. That addiction didn't just slowly die of old age and I didn't just all of a sudden lose the urge. For no reason other than I have a desire for things completely different than what I once desired am I writing for about an hour before going to bed every night...about Jesus.

So while the Assembly of God has made no shortage of emphasis placed on the Holy Spirit, they have in their obsession muddled their doctrine and broken the command to add nothing to scripture.

But then, haven't we all?

By the time I'm done, I'd hope that everyone could know that was the truth, not just read it and think, gee...that's an interesting idea.

Denominational Debauchery: Round Two

2008-07-08T18:03:00.001-07:00

Churches of Christ:
"God's Meanest Children"

I've been asking this question of denominational members over the last few years, and it's for the most part proved helpful in either writing them off or identifying with them. Unfortunately for the Churches of Christ, the question is "What is your cliché? and the answer has almost unanimously been "We are the only one's going to heaven."

Apparently taking scriptures out of context, like "wide is the path that leads to destruction and narrow the path that leads to salvation" would have been a more appropriate answer to the question.

Of course, we ended our discussion of Baptists with the point that sectarian isolationism was what helped preserve doctrinal truths in the evangelical church. However, in the case of the Churches of Christ, sectarian isolationism has resulted in a combative attitude and a legalistic piety that has a lot of similarities, not to the first century church they cling to but rather the enemies of the first century church. Namely the Pharisees.

Claims that start with "You have to do this to be saved or you're not saved" always end up confusing the issue and rarely result in a relationship with Jesus.
Like I (meaning Matt Chandler said it and I ripped him off) said before, manipulation and control may sometimes achieve the desired result, but always at the expense of genuine relationship.

I don't want to seem like I'm being unfairly harsh towards the C of C, most of my jabs at the Baptists may appear light in comparison to these accusations.

But really, if you don't reach out because you think you're the only one who is right, or you don't reach out because you're uncomfortable with changing your methodology, you're still not reaching out.

The other thing the Church of Christ has to carry around as baggage is that ridiculous battle over instrumentation in worship. And the logic being that the first century didn't have musical instruments. Well, ok, if we did everything they did in the first century we'd all be sleeping with our moms, getting drunk during communion, and suing each other. The idea that the first century church was some sort of idyllic image of Christian living is absurd. You want to see a church that embodies first century values? We have them all around us. The only difference between this church and the first century one? Integrity, the sinful practices of the first century church weren't swept under the rug so they could appear pious and walk in self-righteousness. They didn't have any example to follow, they were the first draft so to speak. We however, have years of study, practice, and experience to look back on.

Next time we'll take a look at the Assemblies of God. If you removed the "embli" you'd get a better picture, but more on that tomorrow.

Denominational Debauchery: Round One

2008-07-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

Baptists:
"God's Laziest Children"

If you've ever been to a Baptist service you might have noticed that, while it was outdated, it wasn't outdated enough to feel like the outdatedness had a purpose.

A Baptist church is one of the few places where they still use hymnals. I know most of you don't know what a hymnal is, because you're reading this on the internet.

Hymnal: a hardbound book somewhat like a bible full of songs that are at worst the 1920's version of a mashup combining spiritual lyrics full of bad theology with the music of raunchy vaudevillian show tunes and is at best filled with language that is so foreign and outdated that singing it is mind-numbing for the average layperson.

The use of the hymnal is just one example of an outdated ministry tool being clung to for purely traditional reasons. Now some traditions are valuable and should be clung to. But the reason that Baptists usually earn the title "God's Laziest Children" is because the reason for most of the outdated methods and liturgy in Baptist churches (KJV only, no projection screens, two services on sunday when nobody comes to the second that doesn't come to the first) the reason for all of this retro traditionalism is that the congregational power players (usually middle aged to "advanced in years") are uncomfortable with change. They are too lazy to learn a new way of doing things so that someone new might come to know Jesus.

I'll pause to say that maybe the popularity of the KJV in the Baptist church is that it is, like the use of latin in the Catholic church...incomprehensible. If the average layperson could hear and understand the words of the Gospel when they were preached...they might actually be convicted to do something other than disdain the consumption of alcohol or dancing.

My biggest problem with the Baptist denomination is that almost across the board they do not adhere to the Biblical example for church leadership, which is elder government. Instead we have the committee system. Which, for a denomination that is considered one of the pillars of the Republican party, is a very democratic system. And of course, it's completely un-Biblical. If you get a bunch of sinful people in a room, and put an issue to a vote, what is the chance that the decision will be governed by Scriptural authority? Almost no chance at all. If you look at Scripture there is no example where a congregational body is issuing correction. The apostle Paul who wrote 75 percent of the New Testament spends most of that time as one man yelling at thousands of church members committing every sin that had been thought of (and some that hadn't) . The number of people whose hearts are in the right place and have the years of experience to back it up are very few. Put those guys in charge have 'em spend most of the time praying and studying Scripture, and let them make the decisions. It seems like that has a chance, voting on whether or not you should change the color of the carpet is just asking for trouble. I used to hear stories all the time from the pulpit of how churches had split over silly issues like the chandelier or the color of the piano's finish. I don't know why it never occurred to them that if you don't let everybody vote, they can't really complain about it. It's also kind of humorous when a church has a 2 to 1 member-committee ratio. Kind of like how half the church is usually up on the stage on a mic at one point in the service or another.

To be fair, Baptists, for the most part, are not likely to end up confusing doctrinal issues. But the reason for their certainty isn't because of some clear understanding of the truth but a sectarian blindness to those around them, which is worthy of all the mockery that it recieves. By that I mean, saying things like "God said it, I believe it, that settles it" helps no one. If you are talking to someone who doesn't believe in God, how does that kind of thinking help you reach out to them?

I'll close by saying that, despite the fact that I will be spending this week mostly making fun of fundamentalists (I am a FUNdamentalist). We as the new generation of believers need to be grateful to our older brothers because if they had not developed that sectarian attitude back in the 60's we would probably mirror Europe. In other words, the passionate affection for the Gospel I possess now would not exist without those I will spend the week overtly mocking.

The Father doesn't look at the older brother pouting on the porch outside and say, Aww screw him. He goes outside and pleads him to come in and join the party with his prodigal brother.

Denominational Debauchery: Introduction

2008-07-08T02:21:00.000-07:00

I was considering spending the week expounding on the thesis I hinted at in the Richard Dawkins interview post, but since I got no comments on that one, I'm going to just spend the week making fun of denominations. Why? Several reasons.

I sincerely believe that the basis for all denominational division and combativeness is the sin of pride. That whatever other motivations we may claim, the truth is that while most people will constantly church hop, they rarely cross denominational lines. The reason? Ignorant traditionalist pride...basically Party spirit for church people.

The only hope for any sort of unity will be the destruction of that pride and a return to humble return to the Gospel as our foundation (without addition or subtraction). And the only way Jesus ever humbles someone who is standing on the shaky foundation of pride is to openly mock them. Don't you just love how you can justify anything you want and still sound Biblical?

I don't think any of you are going to read Robert Lanham's book The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right even though you probably should, if only to learn some humility, so consider this a far less humorous version of that book.

Before I start pointing out some of the issues with denominations (like any good humorist, I'm an equal opportunity offender, I won't finish up the week by holding up one denomination as the one everybody should join) I want to say that behind the facade of attacking denominations my real target will be the crippling pillars of blind faith, arrogant tradition, and doctrinal fractiousness that permeates all denominations.

Also, don't think that because I'll be spending the majority of the time finding fault that I'm blind to the fact that all denominations of done some good in one way or another. Nobody needs to read this with the idea that I'm trying to get anyone to change their denominational affiliation. Just realize that the best answer to any question regarding your faith never mentions your denomination (because no person outside your denomination knows anything good about what your group has done, but the media has given a mountain of evidence that shows the damage your group has done). So, hopefully your answer to all questions regarding faith start and end with Jesus.

Blog Tour...

2008-07-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

THE SIDEBAR:

I've been slowly adding more and more features to the blog, in particular, lists on the right sidebar that highlight past posts (music updates, videos, my story of the last 2 years), a slideshow of photos and my ever-expanding list of quotes (hopefully to one day be a viable alternative to Bartlett's).

Anyway, as the blog slowly becomes more robust and as (hopefully) newer people start reading, the sidebar will be a good way to catch up or give you a good idea of where to start.

Seeing as how my readership is small right now anyway, I'll probably end up posting something like this again at a later date (though the necessity of doing so is the same optimism that says I'll acquire more readers).

I am also considering compiling the monthly music updates into a zip file and letting people download them (Mixzips would be the name for it I guess?). If this is something that excites you the reader, feedback would be appreciated.

I Pity The Fool...

2008-07-06T06:21:00.000-07:00

Lacey and I are going over this application for Criswell College, and there is a section where I’m supposed to state my vocational goal…for some reason, none of the options look that appealing, consider the following:

Religious Journalism? Nobody reads anything anymore, and I don’t really feel like trying to convert a bunch of second rate film critics and crotchety Dear Abby types.

Media Ministry? No, I don’t want to make Veggie Tales or cheesy Left Behind Movies. Although, being the guy who came up with F.R.O.G wouldn’t be too bad.

Recreational Ministry? What the hell is this? Play kickball for Jesus?

Military Chaplain? Uhhhhhhhh…no, you join the military to kill people, not to hold funeral services for every faith imaginable…

“Private Johnson was a follower of the First Church of Latter Day Freebasers?”

“I have just the right service for him.”

Evangelist? Hmmm, a little better, but planning to go into evangelism at the undergrad stage seems like setting yourself up for a sexual harassment lawsuit twenty or thirty years later.

Other? Yes, I want to be a bi-sexual acoustic guitar playing fitness guru who drives a Prius and only eats food from companies that somehow use the proceeds to cure AIDS and solve world hunger…for Jesus.

I’m going to have to take this to the top…

“Jesus, why do all the jobs you have for your people suck?”

“Dude, have you read about my career?”

All this makes me wonder, why does our team have so many losers on it? It’s like Jesus wants to do all the work himself or something…

If I were to be honest, I’d include this in my entrance essay. Probably under the topic labeled “Struggles in your Christian walk” now there’s a vocation I can believe in.

Watch this now...

2008-07-05T23:13:00.001-07:00

If you didn't already realize...I'm obsessed with Stephen Colbert. His interview with Richard Dawkins (the new face of atheism) is hilarious and interesting. Watch for the point where after Dawkins seems to be "winning" Stephen recollects himself and lays out pretty lucid and coherent argument for why Dawkins' reasoning defeats itself.

Video Here

I would challenge any Bible believing Christian to try to get their head around atheist argument and evolutionary concepts in order to A: See that their faith rests on a firmer foundation and B: Learn how to reach someone who is actually lost, not just some friend that is dissatisfied with their church.

Love Your Neighbor's Wi-Fi As Your Own…

2008-07-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

We’re poor, and by that I mean, we have enough money to live comfortably, just not enough to afford the necessities (22 inch rims, in-ground pools, LCD TV’s, cocaine…).

Therefore, we don’t have internet at home. Or at least, not internet that we pay for. As some of you may be aware, in this brave new world, the internet is everywhere (sorta like the Holy Spirit).

And one of our neighbors was savvy enough to get a high speed wi-fi connection, just not enough to put a password on it.

Of course, there are a few gimmicks, we only get reception in one corner of the house, and it’s spotty. Sometimes you can leave it in the exact spot where you know the signal is, and get no connection.

I’m coming to view this (Holy) ghost internet like Manna. If it was available all the time, I’d take it for granted, and wouldn’t appreciate those times when it works. Internet access isn’t really something you can store up for tomorrow, but when it comes and goes for no discernable reason you start to think there is one right routine that will make it work…

for example:

…I’ll be in the zone, ready to post some update, standing with my head cocked at a perfect 45 degree angle, one leg raised in the air, wiggling my left big toe like some Pilates guru…

When I remember the prophets of Baal. And I realize, this isn’t Manna, it’s just another idol I’m willing to sacrifice more to than Jesus. I’ve literally spent as much as an hour repositioning the laptop, changing where I sit…trying to get that digital fire to descend and light up my altar.

If it was this hard to read my Bible, I’d definitely be a Pilates guru.

Part Five: Real Love

2008-07-05T01:17:00.000-07:00

That Love is all there is,
Is all we know of Love.
- Emily Dickinson

Marriage is a lot like going to see a band you really, really love for the first time.

You have their records, you’ve read about them, seen the airbrushed photos in Rolling Stone. You have all the lyrics memorized, you feel like you have a deep personal connection with the lead singer - who has written this poetry that holds a special meaning only you understand. You know deep down that despite their faults they’ve really just been misunderstood by a small-minded public who can’t possibly appreciate their brilliance. They aren’t the greatest band ever, (that’s the Beatles...duh) but they are close to second greatest…maybe even closer than Radiohead.

The band takes the stage…they look a little different then you imagined, not as trendily dressed as those pictures in Rolling Stone, they don’t seem as excited as you are…they seem, and this is almost unthinkable, bored.

After playing through a few songs where the singer forgets a couple words and hits a few wrong notes you begin to realize…your band, your favorite band...

…is awful. They don’t play your favorite songs, they screw up the ones you like. You spend the rest of the performance wondering what you were thinking all this time, being enamored with these…amateurs.

The show ends…

You leave having lost the ability to enjoy anything, driving home in silent defeat.

I expected Lacey to be the solution to my problems, the reliever of my headaches, the band-aid on scraped knees. I expected her to want to do everything I wanted to do, to be more clever than me, to enjoy my company when I felt like spending time with her and to leave me alone when I was busy obsessively playing the guitar, a video game, or watching a movie.

Of course by now you’re wondering…what on earth did Lacey see in me?

The answer is…we were both like that fan before the show. Except whenever we were together we were also the band…without any of the wrinkles, dressed in our photo-shoot best and ready to massage each other’s egos with a live performance worthy of being recorded by BBC.

The wool that is pulled over every newlywed’s eyes may not be as thick as the wool that was over our eyes (the wool over our eyes must have been woven out of bricks and the darkness of outer space).

I would like to take a moment to cut off anyone thinking some idiotic thought like “you obviously weren’t right for each other”.

Nobody is “right” for each other. We are all selfish egomaniacs devoted to the pursuit of our own desires at the expense of anything or anyone.

There are no two people that magically fit together; we’re all a bunch of bolt A’s trying to fit into slot B (yes…there is a kinky metaphor there, pervert).

The point is that my problems with Lacey and Lacey’s much more serious problems with me are not unique because of our youth or circumstances.

A good cliché to destroy would be “Wait for the one who is right for you” after all, aren’t divorces the result of married couple’s unmet expectations?

Praise God there was a third party involved in our married life…without the instruction and conviction of the Spirit I don’t know that I would have ever seen the depth of my depravity.

As it is the only reason Lacey hasn’t stabbed me to death with a kitchen knife is because every time I’ve neglected nurturing her or worse, shredded her with harsh, biting words…I’ve immediately realized how much I deserved instant painful death, and been destroyed by the guilt over how rampantly self-serving I am.

To this day I have to fight against my selfish impulses when she is in need. But you know what? The more times I put down the guitar when she asks for something, the easier it gets.

By God’s grace, there will come a day when I no longer need to be asked, I'll just know.

Part Four: Old+New+Borrowed+Blue

2008-07-04T05:04:00.000-07:00

“Nowadays it’s hip not to get married,
I’m not invested in being hip.”
- John Lennon

So, seeing as how we loved each other (I won’t discuss how little we knew about real love…yet), Lacey was pregnant, and we were all good Protestants (although I guess the Catholic solution would be the same), we decided to get married.

This is where I have to take a moment to say that my mother-in-law, Angela, has a reputation of being very controlling and manipulative.And the reason she has this reputation is because, well, she is. Let me also say (before she reaches across the ether of cyberspace to pimp-slap me) that God made her that way for exactly the next few months before our wedding. I doubt there was another person who could have put together the wedding that she did in the time that she did (everyone who helped her, don’t feel snubbed, this is written by the groom, the most clueless of individuals about the details of wedding preparation) .

Needless to say the ceremony and reception have been called by several people I invited “the best wedding I’ve ever been to.” Now I don’t know what sort of wedding Lacey fantasized about having, or what wedding I would have wanted, but given that we had no time to waste over what we wanted, what we got was a better wedding than we could ever ask for, one we certainly didn’t deserve. The location was great, the music spot-on, the food delicious and the weather perfect.

I will never be able to repay any of the debts I acquired in regards to what so many people did for me and Lacey in those early months.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Ben & Ashley’s wedding invitation for this chapter’s quote.

Feeling pretty good right now...

2008-07-03T03:24:00.001-07:00

This is one of those narcissistic posts where I tell you something simply because I'm thinking it. I'm going to share a quote from an email I got from a friend of mine...he's somewhat perturbed by my new found passion for Jesus.

"You come off as a suburban bro who has grown a set of testaments to better commune with his wealthy Zondervan-bound patrons."

Let me just say, that whatever people have said about me possessing some sort of writing ability, the sum-total of ability I've demonstrated pales in comparison to the cohesive brilliance of this statement.

I love the phrase "grew a set of testaments" If I'm in ministry, I'll use that one until the day I die.

Seriously, all you semi-believing Christians who want to hide your faith to look cool. Grow a pair and start living for Jesus.

Part Three: The Sound of Inevitability

2008-07-02T17:08:00.001-07:00

“Are we not made for one another,
like notes of music,
though dissimilar?”
- Percy Shelley

After getting over the hurdle of telling my parents the truth, everything else kind of fell into place. Now I don’t want everyone to think that the reason for that is because I did the right thing. I didn’t do the right thing. Considering the circumstances I really just did the only thing I could have done for my survival. Even telling my parents the truth was an act of selfishness.

No, the reason that everything sense that day has been relative smooth sailing (I do mean to this day, though there have been road bumps) was because I was not in the driver’s seat. I have been going with the flow and up to that point I had been at war with everything.

My family, my friends, my body, my mind, everything was being engaged in combat of one form or another in order to be subjugated to my will. I dyed my hair, I wore clothes that didn’t fit (still do, it is something of a preference, besides being unavoidable. When your body is paper thin without being over six feet tall, you don’t fit anything except women’s juniors and boys 12-14). I espoused a slew of half-baked ideas in order to fit my faux-Christian attitude. But all that changed the day I told my parents the truth before they asked me to.

If you want to know about the particular elements of the miraculous that showed in the logistics and details of the next few months you should talk to my mother-in-law, who did a lot of the planning that brought some sort of possibility for a future out of the mess that everyone around her was making. I’ll get to more of my mother-in-law as a superhero later but for now let’s get back to some sort of coherent narrative.

I should probably start talking about how me and Lacey were sleeping together wasn’t just a physical thing. For a lot of people our age, it is purely physical. But we were two losers who, though we wouldn’t have put it that way, felt a little less disorganized and directionless when we were together. I don’t know what sort of moral fortitude or religious upbringing can withstand the force of passion that rose when we were together and was intensified by the loneliness we felt when we were apart. My relationship with Lacey was the only positive thing in my life (the lack of other positive relationships was my own fault, but that doesn’t change the fact that the only person I valued at that time was Lacey). And no moral fortitude had risen out of my religious upbringing.

All of this to say that though the circumstances of our wedding were shotgun in nature, for the two of us, the fact that we were in a situation where everyone was in favor of us getting married didn’t seem like a bad thing.

Part Two: I Get By With A Little Help From My Friend

2008-07-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

“As God said to Job, Checkmate.”
-Stephen Colbert

In what could only be the act of a sovereign God forcing his will on my rebellious heart, it occurred to me to confess everything to my parents. I know this was God’s idea, because if I actually confessed this would be the first time I ever confessed anything preemptively. In the past, confession was something that was usually dragged out of me, and never brought me any peace. Which, considering that the whole point of confessing something is to reveal something hidden, it’s pretty obvious why I never benefited from those past “confessions”. I obviously never really confessed in the true sense.

I’m getting ahead of myself a little bit. The period between my knowledge of Lacey’s pregnancy and the night I told my parents what was going on was about three days. In that time I was going through a whirlwind of emotions. Rage against my stupidity and arrogance, self-loathing, frustration, fear (the expression abject terror would be more accurate), misery…

Let me pause to make a side note, I am an extremely self-centered person, I had not one thought for how Lacey was coping with the situation, or what she was going through. I think I remember being a little jealous that her parents already knew, but I was definitely not concerned – in that moment – for her.

…Back to me and my temporary insanity (although calling it temporary might be giving me too much credit). I was suicidal for most of the waking hours of those few days. I could feel the weight of the future rushing toward me (remember Indiana Jones and the rolling ball?) and the more I put off telling my parents the truth the more depressed I got. I guess that was a good thing, because if I stayed the same, I probably could have remained in darkness indefinitely (if 9 months is indefinite).

The bottom line is that by Wednesday I just couldn’t take it anymore, I was either going to go with my current choice of self-termination (I was favoring something dramatic, like Elliot Smith without all the mess) or tell my parents the truth. Seeing as how you’re reading my account of the events, I guess I can’t milk what choice I made for much suspense but you can’t blame for trying right?

It took me a while to get it out, but my parents are patient people, and they could tell something was up. Have you ever tried to tell someone something and your whole body just shut down? I was moving my mouth and words wouldn’t come out. I could barely think, I would start to say something and all the wind would just be sucked from my body. I started to turn red; I’d take a breath and try again. I was soaked with sweat and tears; the anxiety alone was exhausting. Looking back I think that was the moment of my exorcism, and the first real moment of honesty.

After I finally said it, and my parents responded with the love and grace I should have anticipated but never expected, I understood the power of facing the truth and began to take my first steps toward the bright future that would be born out of that darkness. I actually came to understand a lot of things over those three days.

I realized that I had the capacity for great evil, and that none of my potential for good was my own. That was not one of the biggest and deepest moments of relief I ever felt. I wouldn’t learn until much later that it should have been.

Think about it, if I had to depend on myself for the inclination to do good, what good was the guy who knocked up his girlfriend and spent three days contemplating murder, suicide, and cowardice ever going to do? But seeing as how I had somebody to push me in the right direction, and He had just came through for me in ways I couldn’t have ever anticipated, I was inclined to put the ball in his hands, for the first time in my life.

I learned how to identify with sinners that week, probably because for the first time, I acknowledged that I was one.

It would be a pretty cute story if that were the end of it, but just because I had confessed, been forgiven, and was on the road to redemption, didn’t mean there were no consequences…

Part One: Homicidal Tendencies

2008-07-01T01:53:00.000-07:00

“If my thought-dreams could be seen,

They’d probably put my head in a guillotine.”

-Bob Dylan

I dropped the phone, or hung it up and then dropped it…it doesn’t really matter now and it definitely didn’t matter then. I had just gotten “the news” I guess the news is in the back of every sexually active guy’s mind, but I had actually gotten it.

I should have been expecting it; after all, if I had taken a moment to consider the past, there was history to give me reason to be concerned. But if there’s one thing that has proven itself over and over in my life, it’s that there is no limit to the lengths I can go to deceive, especially self-deceive.

My immediate response was to consider how I could continue my deception, and there is only one way to keep something like that secret and it was on my mind almost immediately. Calling it temptation would be to distort and caricaturize the fact that I had only one option to continue living a lie and I would not have hesitated to pursue it without consequence, if that were a possibility. That option was quickly removed from me and I would be lying to say it was my moral fortitude winning a victory over my selfish and evil desire for secrecy.

With abortion no longer a choice, my fevered brain scrambled to come up with some sort of solution and as a creative being, the solutions were mostly bizarre. Moving all my stuff out of my parents house and finding somewhere to stay until it all “blew over,” don’t ask me how it was going to blow over. Eloping to somewhere far away, kidnapping my girlfriend, dropping everything and moving as far away as possible. All the time the gracious forces were in action outside of my head and heart and they were slowly working things out for the best. But I was oblivious to everything but the thoughts in my own head.

My Momma Always Said...

2008-06-30T00:55:00.001-07:00

...Be sure your sin will find you out. It's a shame that I never believed her. I always thought, when I got caught, lesson learned - I won't get caught that way again. I would plan my lies more carefully next time, be sure to cover my tracks or bribe witnesses (brothers and sisters). Next time I had to lie to do what I wanted, I'd be ready for you Mom.

Of course I always got caught the same way.

Derek Webb says that the best thing for all people would be to have their worst and darkest evil broadcast to everyone they knew, know, or ever will know on the evening news. Just consider the freedom of it, no longer having to try to be a better liar, everyone already knowing who you really are. Terrifying isn't it?

In an attempt to affirm that statement I'm going to look back on that three day period when Lacey told me she might be pregnant, scattering my fantasies, dreams, and ambitions to the wind; forcing me to come face to face with my life, something I'd been carefully avoiding for some twenty odd years.

I'll be writing this one in segments, consider this an introduction to an HBO miniseries. It certainly won't be any less dark, sordid, or human than anything on cable's most notorious network. Although it will probably be less entertaining. Anyway, here goes...the opening paragraph.

There are moments in your life that give you pause. The world doesn't actually slow down around you, it would be more accurate to say that you come to a screeching halt and life, like the ball in Raiders of the Lost Ark, keeps getting closer and closer. The problem is I wasn't Indiana Jones, a man on a mission with years of training and experience, the body of an athlete with the mind of a brilliant archaeologist. I didn't have a leather hat, whip or loosely buttoned shirt that exposed my sweat-matted chest hair. Shit, I didn't even have chest hair. Much less any direction, or idea of what to do with what was looming before me.

Monthly Mixtape...

2008-06-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

July: I Aint Born Typical

This month has several new releases,
some stuff from when I was a kid,
All good songs you should have heard,
but because we have no time anymore,
you probably never did.

1. White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes

Have you forgotten what Beach Boys style vocal harmony sounds like? Well go buy Fleet Foxes debut and reminisce. This record is the sole candidate for debut of the year in my book. (I’m thinking of doing an end of the year awards, which should be fun, if not necessarily prestigious).

2. Goodnight Bad Morning - The Kills

Okay, so I am breaking one of my rules that I never told you about*, but The Kills released another excellently titled album (Midnight Boom, preceded by No Wow, preceded by Keep on Your Mean Side). This is their weakest album in my opinion, but then I have checked their website bi-monthly for the last year and a half waiting for their next project. So I was set up for the let down. The album still has some great moments, the lyric "You are a fever, You aint born typical" is probably the best couplet I've heard in the 21st century. Yeah that's right, period.

3. One Day Like This – Elbow

Elbow, a band with confidence and consistency and one of the few who can be considered to have their own sound; they’ve been making poignant, beautiful albums for a few years now and their new release The Seldom Seen Kid is my favorite album of the year so far. In case you’re wondering, that sentence was not a run-on.

4. Silent Sigh – Badly Drawn Boy

I’ve listened to a lot of BDB’s music and nothing has yet to top his work on the soundtrack of About a Boy (Probably the only movie where Hugh Grant rises of above the title of B-actor). This song is so bouncy you’d think it couldn’t possibly be melodramatic but the fact that it is…well, you get the idea.

5. City Bird – Of Montreal

I’ve been guilty of sucker punching my audience by picking songs that sound nothing like the artist whose song I select. This is definitely the case with Of Montreal. Words that describe them best are generally synonymous with frenetic, frantic, or frenzied. But don’t hesitate to check them out. They use words you’ll have to look up in the dictionary (lysergic stands out), but hey, that’s how you know it’s good.

6. Lovers In Japan (Acoustic) – Coldplay

Everybody has those moments when, like John Cusack’s character in High Fidelity, we want to listen to something we can ignore. If we didn’t, bands like Coldplay wouldn’t have a chance. For their new album they went with legendary (and yet you haven’t heard of him?) producer Brian Eno. If you know Eno’s work, you can guess how the album sounds, hence the acoustic version. Enjoy ignoring this playlist for the next 3 minutes 45 seconds.

7. If You Want Me - Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová

The movie Once won the Oscar for Best Song, a prestigious award (I think? I mean, Bob Dylan has his Oscar on stage with him at every show and that means something man). However, this song, from the same soundtrack, isn’t as good. But I like it better, so get over it.

8. Cartoon Music For Superheroes – Albert Hammond, Jr.

The lead guitarist from a former favorite band of mine released a solo album last year, generously titled Yours To Keep. Thanks, I just paid 12 bucks; I appreciate you letting me hang onto it. Failed attempts at humor aside, this is a great Brian Wilson-esque tune.

9. On My Way – Ben Kweller

If there was justice in the world, we would all know Ben Kweller better than Coner Oberst. Freakishly young, talented songwriters may be few and far between, but I guess the world was just too big for the two of them, as virtually no one outside of Texas has heard Kweller’s name, while Oberst has been erroneously labeled the next Bob Dylan. This song, with obvious roots in a deep love of Dylan’s style of songwriting, is more genuine than anything Oberst ever wrote, and the guy can sing.

10. Things Grandchildren Should Know – Eels

Next to Bob Dylan, Eels songwriter-frontman Mark Oliver Everett has influenced me the most. This song is, like a lot of his work, painfully touching and revealing. Look in the mirror if you dare, cuz this guy will hold it up for you.

*= The rule being not to repeat an artist, other rules include always having a pick from a soundtrack and referencing Bob Dylan.

The way it works is...

2008-06-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

...The train moves, not the station.

The man best remembered for his work on Thomas the Tank Engine (as the magical, miniaturized Conductor) has joined the great gig in the sky. If you were thinking Ringo Starr, cease your mourning, the luckiest Beatle on the planet is still alive and kicking. George Carlin died last Sunday, it's just taken me this long to come up with a fitting tribute to my knowledge of him. My favorite Carlinism has got to be his description of religion, with which I heartily agree.

"Religion - at best - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a while, and it makes you walk straight and feel better - fine. But you don't need it forever, or you can become permanently disabled. Religion is like a lift in the shoe, and I say just don't ask me to wear your shoes. And let's not go down and nail lifts onto the natives' feet."

Religion is of course, as he well knew, either a crutch or a club. If I wasn't crippled I wouldn't want to be offered a crutch and unless I was a masochist I certainly would have no interest in being threatened with a club. I can only hope that Carlin figured out that loving Jesus isn't anything like religion.

Ben Gibbard's a Calvinist...

2008-06-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

Death Cab's new single "I will possess your Heart" was a shocking disappointment when I first heard it. The lyrics, transcribed below, are almost sophomoric in comparison to the nuance and depths Ben Gibbard has penned on albums past. However, I realized the other day, that if you consider this, not some juvenile and cloying romantic love song, but a plea from God to his children on earth...you kinda have to draw the conclusion that Ben Gibbard's a Calvinist. Taken in this light the song sounds like a description of irresistible grace.

How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound, but in a language that you can't read
You gotta spend some time--love, you gotta spend some time with me

There are days when outside your window, I see my reflection as I slowly pass
And I long for this mirrored perspective, when we'll be lovers, lovers at last

You reject my advances and desperate pleas
I won't let you, let me down so easily, so easily

I will possess your heart.

Jakob Dylan's new album sounds like praise music...

2008-06-25T02:24:00.000-07:00

And that coming from me is something of an obscenity. I'm sorry, but if you're Bob Dylan's son and you decide to become a musician...change your mind. I mean what do you expect will happen? That you would actually be able to rise above people saying things like "it sounds pretty decent but nothing like his dad" with this mediocre solo album following your career with a mediocre band?

Of course if it's what he loves to do than he should keep doing it, I just wish he would suck less. The type of generic acoustic guitar on the album is only tolerable when coupled with good-to-great lyrics and tonally gripping vocals. And please, naming a song with an homage to Ray Bradbury (one of my favorite authors), when the song is awful, only makes me more irritated.

I would never want to do anything that my father did, unless I could do it better.

Which is why I am steering clear of the IT industry. Not my cup of tea, and my dad is already very successful doing it, and I want nothing to do with it. Me and my dad hung out at Starbucks a few weeks ago and it was a lot of fun, it was also the first time I had seen any sort of youthful joy or energy in him in ages. If that's what working on computers for a living does for you, no thanks. I'll keep my soul. Of course, he's got a million other reasons to be drained all the time, well, 9 anyway.

I need to get back in school if only so I can be refreshed on how to compose a sentence of length without using six or seven commas (DJ, a little help?)

Joel Osteen Vs. Rick Warren And The Winner Is...

2008-06-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

Satan.

Forgive the hyperbole, first I want to say that I'm as guilty as anyone of judging a movement by it's momentum rather than what motivates it. I've been listening to these guys, pastors of the two biggest churches in America become more and more disconnected from Biblical truth over the last few years. If you want to try and deny it, just look at their interviews with secular media (their respective interviews with Larry King were both saddening) . Matt Chandler hit the pandemic nail on the head when he said,

"Christianity has shifted from being a small movement that impacts the culture to a gigantic impotent one."

I would add "that is mocked by culture" to the end of that quote if only to be symmetrical.
This isn't a call for small house church leaderless Christianity (I've read barna and viola's book Pagan Christianity and it doesn't have an answer regardless of how effective it is at identifying problems).

I wish, like most Christians, not to be thought of as socially, psychologically, or intellectually inferior to the rest of the world. Am I wishing for the equivalent of world peace? Probably. But I would settle for the so called "open-minded" intellectualism that grasps even the most uneducated of our society to actually espouse what they claim to believe.

There's nothing open-minded about writing someone off as a fundamentalist when they say they believe the Bible.

I probably just need to quit bitching and read the Bible more.

Constantine...

2008-06-18T13:04:00.000-07:00

I watched it again. I think I'm a sucker for any movie that portrays the catholic church in a semi-superheroic light. Fighting demons with sacred tap water or yelling in latin, it hits the spot. I really liked the end where Constantine prays for divine assistance...

"I know I'm not one of your favorites, and that I'm not even welcome in your house, but I could use a little attention. Please."

I can definitely identify with that feeling of loneliness. The coolest thing I think is the theological depth of the films thesis. Which is essentially Ephesians 2:8-9

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast"

Constantine spends his whole life trying to redeem for the mortal sin of his suicide at a young age by deporting demons to hell. He says at one point, "I've been trying to send as many of them back to hell to secure my retirement." I think most Christians at one point or another get sidetracked by trying to earn what's already been given. We may not be waging spiritual warfare in an attempt to earn our way into His good grace but we certainly place a lot of emphasis on morality and piety. Don't wear a hat in church, tithe 10%, don't use four letter words, avoid association with sinners. Some of those things are important, but I think we need to live our lives with the feeling that we've just been given the best birthday, christmas, or graduation present. Think about that euphoric generosity you feel when you recieve something that is deeply satisfying. Checking off lists, crossing t's and dotting i's loses importance pretty quickly.

My Boyfriend's Back...

2008-06-14T05:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know if jokes that are give off that homo false positive are cool with everybody, they make me laugh loud and long. But my good friend Evan really is back on 10 day leave and right now I kinda wish tomorrow wasn't Father's Day so I could kick it with him the whole day.

Evan's back,
from boot camp,
Drill Instructors are
loud, harsh, and mean
he said, he had fun anyway.

I don't know if I'll always write in what vaguely looks like free verse, but I'm probably going to start posting all blog entries in that format unless they are purely informational.

I was having a fairly energetic debate with a gay coworker (he definitely puts the boy in flamboyant) about whether gays and straights were different at a a deeper level than where they put their...(well you get the idea, and if you don't you're blessed with a rare innocence I wouldn't want to corrupt so stop reading my blog).

Anyway, Irving was saying
(After I asked what it meant to be gay)
"It means to be cool"
(I know I don't dress,
with the colors of Dr. Suess books)
"But straights can be cool too"

This format won't work for this particular entry, so Irving (who is an airhead, well that's untrue, he's a cokehead...seriously the guy does blow like it's 1994) who can't formulate a thought or complete a sentence, attempts to further explain himself. I argued using the example of celebrities (best way to debate with a fag is to use pictures, preferably pictures he's...seen) that the ratio of cool straights to cool gays is the same as the portion of straights to gays (like 80-20 according to the census bureau of my imagination). I mean how many cool gays are there? One of his responses was George Michael, at this point I knew I had him on the ropes...

Of course I eventually had to get back to work and couldn't deliver the one-two punch. But my point is that how many of my fellow readers (I really hope there's at least five of you, but that may be too much to ask) especially the Christian ones, actually talk to gays? And I mean, after you find out they're gay and they make some not too subtle jokes about the, let's call it mechanics, of their nature?

I have two gays I talk with regularly and one is a very mature adult who, if I hadn't met a gay like that, I would probably still consider them caricatures of humanity, like serial killers or child-molesters. And then I know Irving, poster-gay for gayness. He's the reason why people like me used to make up slogans like "Homosexuality is Gay" which still makes me laugh, but seriously, the sinfulness of homosexuality is not a greater sinfulness than that of lust, greed, pride, gossip, slander, or sloth.

Matt Chandler (great pastor of The Village Church) says "I grew up in a denomination where the church's unofficial-official position on gays was that the HIV virus was God's judgment on them, now do see what ground we have to make up?" (Now if you're reading this and thinking, "Hell yeah, them fags brought that on themselves," I really don't have anything to say to you, I would probably consider you further from salvation than any homosexual)

I guess that Christians who resort to "outreach" tactics like picket lines at abortion clinics and trackbombing (another Chandler term, the guy is the madnotes) have forgotten that in Paul's trifecta of faith, hope, and love the greatest is love and self-righteousness isn't on the list. I forget it all the time.

I'm working up an entry to address what went through my mind in that first week when I found out my girlfriend was pregnant, it's something I want to address, that week was a complete emotional roller coaster.

I'll try to start finishing thoughts in these entries sometime, but right now I've got to stop and go to bed.

Zombies are voting for John McCain...

2008-06-14T05:01:00.000-07:00

To deter them I've come up with my own top five reasons to vote for Barack Obama (from the interweb, with pictures!):

5. Just look at him. A man with ears that big can't be evil.
4. John McCain hasn't been on the cover of Rolling Stone
3. He doesn't have years of D.C. political experience
2. Chief Media Advisor to McCain won't run against him
1. Bob Dylan Says To

Ahhhhh, politics. Of course, in this state we vote for the Re-publican. More so here than anywhere else (except New York and California) your vote in the election, really any election, is largely symbolic. Which to my mind means that we should think about who we vote for, I remember when I went with my mom to vote back in 2004, after we finished we talked about how we voted and my mom admitted to having just picked the republican on all the minor candidates after voting to re-elect Bush. I remember I voted for Bush because I didn't believe in voting for nobody and I couldn't vote for Jay Leno's cousin. I also voted straight party. I've since decided to be an informed voter (although the cynic in me wonders whether the information I'm being fed is unbiased truth). This election has been an exciting one, although it's been a drag waiting for the snow queen to bow out. I could go on and on but my point is that you should have better (and by better I mean more educated) reasons for voting for whoever you vote for. That top five list is cute, but none of those reasons mean anything, except for number 1, that one means a lot...I'm not even sure I'm kidding, I mean, if Jesus sent word from heaven that thou shall vote for Barack Obama I would find that endorsement more convincing, but not many earthly people have the power to sway my opinion like Bob Dylan (he changed my daughter's name for goodness sake!).

P.S. John McCain really is a good guy (or at least he was before he got the nomination), check him and Barack out to see what you think before you tell everybody else how they should think.

Monthly Mixtape

2008-06-13T19:16:00.000-07:00

June: Music Loves You Back

I'll be sharing music with my audience (ha-ha, I know, what audience?) in the form of a monthly playlist (like the itunes celebrity playlists just without the celebrity) . I'll write a little blurb about each pick to stretch my writing muscles and stimulate brain function.

1. Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan
I picked this song because Haddie's name came about due in part to the movie "I'm Not There" a sort of arty biopic about Bob Dylan. This song plays on the dvd menu and is one of my favorite Dylan tunes.

2. Angel In The Snow - Elliott Smith
This is off of New Moon, a posthumous compilation album released last year. This song quickly became one of my favorites by this tortured sing-songwriter, probably because it's one of the few that doesn't make me want to slit my wrists.

3. An Owl With Knees - The Books
This indie duo mostly records acoustic songs mixed with sound clips from old non-musical recordings and movies. The two rarely actually sing, but when they do, you get great songs like this.

4. Making Time - Creation
Rushmore is one of the few movies I would want with me on a desert island. This song is from one of my favorite segments of the movie by a not-so-great band from the same era as The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, and The Who. Maybe if they had put "The" in front of their name they would have had more success.

5. Wait - The Kills
Another soundtrack pick, this one is from Children of Men an apocalyptic movie where women lose the ability to bear children. Since the birth of Haddie, I've been listening to this song a lot.

6. Hospital Beds - Cold War Kids
My favorite discovery of 2007, this California band mixes easy-going production values with some great musicianship and songwriting. The only turn off may be the singers high-pitched vocals, but I love it, so you should too. Editors Note: Kids, prepositions are words you shouldn't end sentences with.

7. Teenage Kicks - Nouvelle Vague
Two brilliant French producers came up with the novel idea of having their native pop divas perform breezy acoustic versions of classic 80's tunes. This one may be my favorite, though their covers of Joy Division, The Cure, and Bauhaus are a lot of fun too.

8. Keep The Car Running - The Arcade Fire
The Arcade Fire followed up their debut last year with an album that left a lot people asking "How great are these guys?" Now maybe I'm the only person who asked that question, but if this song doesn't answer it, I don't know what will.

9. Cath... - Death Cab for Cutie
Let me take a moment to say that these guys should change their name to Death Cab, nobody calls them by their full name anymore. Anyway, this song is from their new album Narrow Stairs and is probably the only song that stands up to the greatness of Transatlantacism, their breakthrough album from 2003.

10. Oh Mandy - The Spinto Band
I was introduced to this song when I had a brief moment of online fame. A song I recorded was used in the trailer for the very-indie movie Four-Eyed Monsters, this is a better song from a different trailer.

11. Hold Tight - Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Titch
Last soundtrack pick, this is from Quentin Tarantino's movie Deathproof. Tarantino does two things well, and they're actually the same thing. He takes a bad genre and extracts everything that's good from it and puts it onscreen. He does the same thing with music. This song is the only worthwhile recording from another forgotten sixties band with a name so incomprehensible it's even mispronounced in the movie.

That wraps up this months music update, I'll be back with more tunes in July.

Ramble One, Ready for lift-off...

2008-06-13T17:03:00.000-07:00

I find myself answering the common questions you get these days (so you go to church?, so you're religious?, so you're a christian?, etc...) with the following statement...

"Not really, but I love Jesus."

I'm not really comfortable with saying anything more. I go to church, I do subscribe to many forms of religious practice, but I'm apathetic to all of these peripheral things. A teacher, though not one of mine, once said, "It's easy to prophesy from the periphery you need to come back to the center." I can't prophesy about the periphery anymore. Maybe it's because I'm busier than I used to be, or have traveled down enough side roads to see they don't get you anywhere. But I just don't have the urge to tell people about how good worship was last week (saying this is hypothetical, I haven't been to a service in the last 3 weeks) or what the pastor talked about, or how they should come to my church, because we've got it right over there.

I don't want to identify with Christianity, these days (as in, since the first century church was established) it does me and Jesus more harm than good. At this point I could say you should stop talking about stuff other than Jesus, but I don't even feel secure in deviating that much from just saying, "Jesus" (I may blending Jesus with Tao a little bit here). I live within a network of people where the ones who don't go to church or more kind, supportive, friendly, even sane, than the ones who do (what was I expecting though, that church would fix these people?). I think all of us do really, except for the ones who don't know anybody who doesn't go to church (which you would think would be impossible, besides unbiblical).

I'm not sure I'm doing anything but stirring a pot that doesn't need stirring, or throwing a rock in a hornet's nest. But I've got this weight on my shoulders that presses on me every time I stand still long enough for it exert enough force to be recognized. I just can't resolve God, the Universe, and Everything...with me and all these pompous Christian jerks. Here I am, a lover of Jesus (not the noble faithful variety, more like the "I love my new fashion accessory it's called Jesus!" variety) who is sick and tired of being lumped in with all these...these Christians. And it's not because they're all bad people (of course they are), but because they think, in fact are convinced, that they aren't. Maybe like Will Smith in I, Robot I'm the one sane person on the face of the earth (making me crazy) but can I get an Amen for admitting that I don't have it all together without adding but God fixed that and now my crap don't stink no more?

Let's face it, whatever imputation (read granting or gifting all you lay people) of righteousness there is in salvation (all you new perspective on paul people are listening now right?), I think we need to stop kidding ourselves and just say God loves you now, he hasn't turned you into the 24 karat limited edition version of you, but he loves you. If we could destroy the cliche that becoming a Christian is supposed to fix you we would solve a lot of problems. We wouldn't have to spend every waking moment of every day back-tracking...well, that pastor that molested that girl wasn't really a Christian or well, the people in the crusades and the inquisition were really misguided.

I mean come on, do you think the average nonbeliever would look at you with those raised eyebrows if he knew you knew that Christians are just as jacked up as everybody else? I mean not only that Christians are as jacked up as everybody else, but they know it and are trying to focus on the one thing in this planet that will facilitate change and satisfying endless longing? We'd be a valid system of belief instead of a coalition of willing self-deceivers. Jesus said you should remove the plank from your own eye before talking to your brother about the speck in his eye. This doesn't just mean we should live a perfect existence without wrong or evil, petty argument or depravity before telling somebody how to straighten up their act. It also means we need to see ourselves as the thief, murder, rapist. Both of us have wood in our eye, I've just got about twenty times as much as you do.

Christians have got this screwed-up vision of the world (myself included, 90% of every time) that they sin and we need to reach them. We don't even have the upper body strength to lift a pencil and we think we need to be pulling drowning people out of a rushing river.

In closing, I just want to say that I don't have an answer for any of this...except Jesus. He wouldn't be described as the way, the truth, and the life (or as I like to think of it: God, the universe, and everything) if he wasn't the be all end all solution to all our problems. I hate the WWJD slogan because it distorts and commercializes the most important lens we have to view the world, but seriously if you want to know how to complete X+Y=Z you need to know that all variables are Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...there's just something about that name, that guy, that king. Now I'm going to go find a way to turn this thing into a self-help seminar so you people can get your act together...