Love Your Neighbor's Wi-Fi As Your Own…

We’re poor, and by that I mean, we have enough money to live comfortably, just not enough to afford the necessities (22 inch rims, in-ground pools, LCD TV’s, cocaine…).

Therefore, we don’t have internet at home. Or at least, not internet that we pay for. As some of you may be aware, in this brave new world, the internet is everywhere (sorta like the Holy Spirit).

And one of our neighbors was savvy enough to get a high speed wi-fi connection, just not enough to put a password on it.

Of course, there are a few gimmicks, we only get reception in one corner of the house, and it’s spotty. Sometimes you can leave it in the exact spot where you know the signal is, and get no connection.

I’m coming to view this (Holy) ghost internet like Manna. If it was available all the time, I’d take it for granted, and wouldn’t appreciate those times when it works. Internet access isn’t really something you can store up for tomorrow, but when it comes and goes for no discernable reason you start to think there is one right routine that will make it work…

for example:

…I’ll be in the zone, ready to post some update, standing with my head cocked at a perfect 45 degree angle, one leg raised in the air, wiggling my left big toe like some Pilates guru…

When I remember the prophets of Baal. And I realize, this isn’t Manna, it’s just another idol I’m willing to sacrifice more to than Jesus. I’ve literally spent as much as an hour repositioning the laptop, changing where I sit…trying to get that digital fire to descend and light up my altar.

If it was this hard to read my Bible, I’d definitely be a Pilates guru.